Bec was pacing around the room now; I hated when she did that, but I don’t think I was allowed to say much right now. “Bec…” I start, but slowly close my mouth when my mind goes blank and my mouth goes dry. What do I say? What do I do? What can I do? I have never seen her this worked up before; I don’t think I’ve ever messed up this bad before. Suddenly, Bec stops in her tracks and slowly turns her head towards me. Her hands are tangled in her long black hair, and her eyes are dancing; like the night we first met, but not in the same happy way.
“Neida, do you have any idea how horrible this…” Her eyes break from mine, her nails begin to dig deeper into the side of her face, and she stares down at the ground. My eyes fall to the ground when she says Neida, and I truly realize how bad I have messed up; she never calls me by my real name.
I pop up from my chair and break the five step distance between us. Her head snaps up as I place my hands tenderly on her cheeks and bump my knee lightly against hers; something she has always thought was cute. I stare into her amber eyes and the flaming fire dies down and now her eyes well up with tears, as she drops her arms so they hang limply to her sides. I want to look away, but I know I have to stare back; I have to accept that I am the one who is making her cry. I’m the one who tripped up. I’m the one who broke her trust in me. I’m the one who betrayed her. I’m the one who cheated on her.
But, I’m too much of a coward to stare any longer; so, I lean down and connect our lips. I kiss Bec like my life depends on it, because it does. She is everything to me. I cannot imagine a world or life without her: without her love, her tenderness, her. I’ll never forget the night I met her. Over Christmas break, when my sister and I where both back home, she forced me to go to some bonfire her friend was throwing. At first, I thought the whole thing was a waste of time; until I saw Bec. I didn’t understand how I had not noticed her before; she was radiating. Everyone was crowding around her, and why wouldn’t you be? She was one of those people who was gorgeous on the inside and out, great personality, and beautiful complexion.
Bec’s hair was shorter then; it came down to her chin and framed her face nicely. Her eyes connected with whoever was talking to her, and she would make you feel like you were the only person in the room who mattered. Her smile revealed perfect pearly teeth, and then there was her curvy chest and curvy bottom (not like I was staring or anything). I did not have enough courage to go up and talk to her though; I could only stare from afar. But soon, she noticed she had an admirer; and would make eye contact, and flash me a smile, every few seconds (I swear I blushed and she laughed every time). When my sister began to drag me out the door; I wanted to resist and go introduce myself, but there were too many people and I was too much of a wimp. As I was about to get into my sister’s car; I felt a hand on my shoulder, and as I turned around I was faced with a bright smile. It was Bec. She introduced herself, and I did the same; this is where she began calling me Ney, and never stopped. We exchanged numbers, and things just sort of blossomed from there.
I’m torn from my old happy memories, by Bec roughly pushing me away from her. I stumble back, eyes wide, in confusion and hurt. Her shoulders are hunched over and tears are now steadily streaming down her face. I begin to step forward; to wipe away her tears, but she yells.
“Stop!” I freeze as her loud voice echoes through the empty house. She stands up taller and continues, “I can’t do this anymore Neida. I have a rough life as it is and you…I thought…” Her voice breaks and I just want to hug her. I want to wrap my arms around her, feel her body slump against mine, feel her wet cheek against my shoulder, and remind her that I am her safe place. That she can confide in me. But, can she really?
“Bec” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“Just, stop talking.” She stares hard down at the floor. A minute later, after cold silence, she lifts her head up and stares me right in the eyes as she says “You’ve already done enough. I think I should just leave, and don't you ever think about contacing me.” And, with that she struts right past me and slams the door on her way out. I gaze out at absolutely nothing with my mouth hanging open. I hear her start her car up, back out of the driveway, and when I can’t hear her car anymore my legs give out.
And now here I am; lying on the floor. Staring up at the celling. Wondering where it all went wrong.