Uncontrollable Love

November 7, 2008
By
He tenderly grabbed my head and titled it to the angle of a perfect breathtaking kiss, the one you'll always remember. When he pulled away all the blood in my body started to circulate again.
'So what do you do when you're not kissing me?' he replied in a kidding tone.
'Oh please Tucker! ' I said in a guilty tone.
Because the truth was, I only lived to kiss him. I dreamed about kissing him in my dreams and even while I was in the shower! He was always on my thoughts and my constant wanting. When we aren't together, it just about kills me. To be honest with you, he's my life. He's my everything. My life wouldn't be completed without him.
'Lillian, I love you.'
I smiled like a little kid on Christmas.
'Tucker, I love you too.'
He smiled like he had just won the lottery. After that it gets a little bit blurry. See that's how it gets when he kisses me. I lose sight in everything. Nothing seems important when our lips meet. It's like he's my drug. I need him or I'll lose it. See once he went on a trip to Hawaii. His parents thought it was a good idea to have a vacation before the summer ended and school began. He was gone for three weeks and I cried every day. I wouldn't come out of my room for five days. I was honestly that depressed. So I've come to realize that he is really my drug. I also sometimes forget that he's all to myself. That well be together forever, just me and him. But as you can tell, my life its perfect. Well at least he makes my life perfect.

The night he died, my perfection died. I never thought that we wouldn't be together one day. The thought never even crossed my mind. Everything we had could never be ruined or harmed. That's what I thought in tell the night he died.

We had just got done getting homework done when he told me that his mother and father where thinking about getting a divorce.
'I'm so sorry baby. I'm here for you babe.'
Tears quickly filled his eyes.
'No no baby I'm fine I just can't believe they're deciding to do it when I'm on my last year of high school. They can at least cope with each other in tell I'm out of the house and in college.'
He grabs my right hand while he cries in my lap. I feel helpless at the moment but know that me just being here for him means everything. After thirty minutes he stops crying and sits up abruptly.

'Thanks baby. You know you're my girl, right?'
'Of course babe. And you know you're my man, right?'
He grabs my hands and caresses them with his.

'I better be. Together forever baby. Till death do us part.'
He looked deep into my eyes, trying to read my mind and see what I was thinking.
'Honey, I will love you in tell the world ends.'
He bundled me up in his big bear hands and gave me a hug. We stayed like that in tell we both didn't have enough tears to muster out. He pulled away and glanced at his brown and black watch.
'Oh shoot I got to go. Mom's expecting me to help her with the boxing.'
'Okay well I'll see you later tonight then. I love you hone. '
'I love you to babe.'
He walked out the tall cedar wood door and walked swiftly to his car. He jumped in and sped away from the house. I waited in tell I could no longer here the sound of the car down the long gravel road and proceeded to my living room. I was most likely going to curl up on the couch and watch another old re-run of Friends. See when ever me and Tucker aren't together I always feel awkward. Like everything I do can only be evolved around him. Yeah trust me I know. It's scary how much I love him. And how strong are relationship is. Well anyways, after he left I went into the hallway and grabbed the cream colored blanket I received from my grandma when I was born. I walked quickly to the couch and jumped speedily in the center of the middle cushion. I grabbed the remote and hurriedly put it back down at the sound of the phone.
At 6:45 PM my life changed forever. When Tucker was driving home he started to cry again,
'Come on Tucker! Be a man! Quit crying and suck it up.'
He was too busy talking and counseling himself thru his grief, to see that the car in the left hand lane had swerved into the right hand lane. By the time he finally realized that the car was in his lane, it was too late. When the car hit Tucker straight on, his head exerted directly imbetween his legs and was crushed by the impact of the steering wheel. It cracked his neck in half, instantly killing him. When the paramedics finally arrived, he was pronounced dead at the scene.
By the time I got to the phone, I already knew. Because inside I went thru every action with Tucker. I'm not really sure how it's possible or anything but I do know, that somehow it had to do with the strong love me and him shared for each other. Either way, I was with him when he died. Maybe not physically but spiritually. At 6:45 my life, my love, my world, and my boyfriend died. Everything I woke up for and lived each and every day for was gone forever. Tucker Bradley Jenson was my all. And he was gone.

My life, it ended the minute his body did. But my own body died two minutes and eleven seconds later. Tucker Bradley was my life, my body, my soul, and my everything. No one could ever change or take that from us. So baby, I'll see you in heaven, where you'll still be my perfect everything.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

JordanNicole said...
Jan. 30, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I'm crying right now. This is really good! Keep writing...
 
Mad13658 said...
Apr. 3, 2009 at 2:39 am
This is sad, tears were in my eyes.
 
Strawberry This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 28, 2009 at 7:37 pm
OMG! i almost started crying! i love your work, so keep writing!
 
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