Sometimes I wish it were the hair that got me. Or even your full eyelashes. I'd love to believe that. I know I don't, and I know you don't either. I guess you were just something special. A shiny new penny, I thought. You brightened up my day you made the gray fade away. Into blues and yellows with some vibrant oranges as well. You knew me too well; sometimes I wish you didn't know my name. We went way too far for my liking. But then again I wasn't pushing away. Sometimes when I'm sitting on my bathroom floor wishing I were someone else, I thought of you. Not because you stole my heart and ran with it. But thinking that you were the only person to earn it in the first place. Maybe that's what set you apart from the crowd. Or was it your laugh that made ma smile. I'll never know. I don't remember you that well. Sometimes I think about us and I'll cry myself to sleep. In the morning I seem to feel so much better, like a dried out sponge. You took all I had, and you played around with it in front of my face. Those times made me want to scream. Every time I tried my chest tightened up with the fear that you might hit me again. It only takes one black eye to realize whom the true you is. Sometimes I'm scared to run away, others I have the whole escape route planned. Then you hold me in your arms telling me you love me. It's times like those when I melt and forget about last night when you hurt me. Sometimes I want to get out and be free. But right now I think I'll just tuck my wings back in until your not looking. Then I'll fly.
February 8, 2009