01/14/01
Dear Diary,
The man of my dreams has finally proposed to me. The euphoria I feel is beyond describable in words. He is a gift from God. I’m so in love, I can feel it in my toes. This is the man I was meant to have kids and grow old with. He truly is the man for me. The proposal was absolutely beautiful. I came home from a long day's work and he had laid rose petals all over our apartments, leading into the bedroom. Candles were lit and a warm bubble bath was already prepared, along with two glasses of my favorite wine. We bathed together and talked about life until the water grew cold and I could feel the warmth of the alcohol in my stomach and head. After I had gotten my nightgown on and gotten comfortable in bed, he rolled over to face me and was holding the most beautiful ring I had ever laid eyes on. It was almost like a fairy tale that I can’t stop reliving in my head. I’m not going to say this was a total surprise, his constant overtime he puts in at work was leading me to think he was saving up something nice for us. I will keep you updated on the journey!
Love, Cheyenne

01/21/01
Dear Diary,
While my fiance is out working I decided to surprise him with something that represents my unconditional love for him. I went out and I got his name tattooed across my collar bone. Since our love will be forever bound, I want to have a visual representation of how permanent he is in my life. He is my rock and I know he isn't going anywhere, just like this beautiful tattoo. If he decides to put in some overtime hours tonight I’m going to go to his office without him knowing and surprise him with his favorite bubble bath scent and show him the devotion of my love I have inscripted onto my body. This man has blessed my life with everything I could ever imagine and I just know his love is pure and absolute.
Love, Cheyenne

01/22/01
Dear Diary,
I am at a loss of words… I went to my fiance's work, a mix of anxious and excited, expecting to show him the surprise of his life. I went into the dark building and took the elevator to the floor his office was located only to find his lips pressed against the neck of another man. I am completely taken and devastatingly crushed. Everything that I have ever known or believed for the past three years has been a complete lie. The man I dreamt of growing old with has betrayed me in the utmost embarrassing and deceitful way. I can’t help but blame myself for him shift his ways. What have I done to make him change as he’s done? My life is over, my body is tampered with, I will never move on from this incident.
Love, Cheyenne

03/17/11
Dear Diary,
Wow. I was going through an old box I had stored in the closet because my husband and children are moving into a larger home. That incident that happened almost 10 years ago was completely wiped from memory, only brought upon by rereading this old diary. I am astounded by how much I’ve grown in my life. Life isn’t about finding the one who is going to complete you. Life is about completing yourself and finding someone who motivates you to further grow personally. Growing into the self-aware woman I am today and marrying my amazing husband who has given us beautiful kids, has taught me so much. I am more than a housewife. Making a living for myself has given me the independence I deserve. Loving myself before anyone else has allowed me to gain the trust I needed to have a healthy relationship. Having kids has matured me tremendously and showed me what it’s like to be truly loved. I had written that that experience was the end of the world but in reality was only the beginning. Sometimes you need to go through something traumatic to learn and grow from the incident. Life is more than love and marriage, life is about discovering yourself. Much like my ex did with himself, although was too embarrassed to come to terms with it publically. That is why I don’t blame him, I wasn’t the problem and neither was he. We were simply two different people, both with insecurities, trying to find ourselves.
Love, Cheyenne, Wife, and Mother of Three