You wake up, a cold sweat rolling down your back and down your forehead.
Breathing quickly you get up and walk to the kitchen being as quiet as you can. You quietly reach for a bottle of water from the marble countertops. You also grab a packet of Cheetos from the cupboard above the water. You quietly walk back to your room in the dark. You close your door and turn on your bedroom light. Walking back to your bed and bringing your laptop up onto your lap. You unplug the cool charger and throw it back to the floor. Sighing you open the laptop and type in the password hearing the click-clack of the keys on the keyboard.
As you wait patiently for the computer to boot you open the bag of Cheetos and drink a little water. You pull up the browser and think sadly about all that’s been going on.
Being late at night you hear some dogs bark and the wind rustling the old leaves on the oak tree outside your window. You check your phones as you open your email on the computer. No notifications. You softly set your phone down. You email the therapist about the dream again. You sigh deeply as you send the email.
You set the laptop on the floor crunching on more Cheetos. You carefully grab a lighter from the table next to you and light the scented candles that your mom told you to do to keep calm and know that everything would be okay.
Everyone thinks you’ve gone mad. You’ve finally snapped. You’ve tried to keep calm, the more you thought the more you wanted to cry. You took a deep breath and calm down inhaling the calming scent. You get up and plug the warm laptop in, and throw away the Cheetos wrapper. You blow out the candle and pick up a book off the shelf. You sit on your bed and flip several pages before getting with that book and put it back on the messy shelf. You walk into the light again and flip the switch off. You rush quickly to your bed and crawl underneath the covers. You pull out your phone and get on Tumblr looking through all of the pictures people have posted since you checked last. You then get on Instagram, seeing tons of messages from people saying It wasn’t your fault. You roll your eyes and finally shut your phone off before taking the covers off the bottom of your bed and cuddling them.
You’re woken up by your mother's soft voice and the creaking of your door.
“Good morning honey. How are you feeling” she spoke.
“Good morning mom,” you say as you wipe the tiredness of your face.
“You have school today honey…” she spoke firmly.
You moan as you get up and head to the dresser to get a tee and some jeans.
You go to the bathroom and don’t even think about looking- too late. You look in the mirror.
You sigh and decide that, though you don’t want to you grab a hairbrush and brush the weekend's rats nest on the top of your head. After brushing your hair you pee. You wash your hands and look again in the mirror. You head out just as your mom leaves for work.
“Bye mom I love you,” you say
“Bye, sweetie! Have a good day!”
You make a cup of coffee go to school with and eat a small bowl of cereal then put the bowl in the sink of crowded dishes.
You grab your backpack and head to the bus stop down at the corner of your street. You absolutely did not want to go to school. The bus came at the usual time. As the doors open you hear people talking laughing and screaming. As you get on the bus everyone stops and stares at you. You sit in the middle where four seats are open. The bus ride was quiet. Everyone knows what happened last week. You tried to push it out of your mind. You get off the bus and try to get to class. First and second period weren’t any different. Third was a different class, geometry.
“Class, this is Peyton, our new student. You can pick a seat.”
You shrug it off and take out your notebook.
“Hello.” someone said.
You stare into the eyes of the new kid.
“Hi…” you spoke reluctantly but have a.. knotted feeling in your stomach.
“How are you I’m Peyton!” the tone of Peyton’s voice was happy and bouncy, and you hated it.
Ignoring everyone in the room you silently took notes. At the end of the day, you just wanted to go home. You didn’t want anyone talking to you. You boarded the bus and sat quietly when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“HI!!!!” Peyton’s voice rang in your ears, like an annoying angelic voice.
“Hello Peyton,” you said turning again to the window.
“How are you?”
“Peyton… I’m not in the-”
“I know how you feel,” Peyton spoke.
“What?” you spoke in disbelief
“The word gets around quickly…So would you like to hang out? I can be loads of fun!” Peyton's voice hopeful
“Maybe Wednesday… hows that sound?”You say amusing yourself but Peyton's face lit up.
Tuesday came and went too fast.
“So are you coming over this afternoon??”
“Hello, Peyton.” You say as you glance sideways.
“I’m sorry…” Peyton spoke.
“No No Peyton I’ll be over…” You say trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, but not to show too much either.
“I’ll stay quiet if that makes you happy,” Peyton said.
“Why worry about what makes me happy? That doesn't matter.” shocked that someone would ever say something like that, especially to you.
“Your happiness means the world to me because you’re sad.” Peyton blushed furiously.
“W-what?” You spoke.
The bus stopped at the school. Peyton rushed off the bus.
You texted your mom and told her Peyton had invited you over for a sleepover, she said it was fine. You blushed sitting next to Peyton in geometry.
You get on the bus and Peyton sits next to you.
“Hey Peyton,” you say trying to match the happiness level Peyton always had.
“I’m sorry,” Peyton said .
“Peyton don’t be,” You say a knot deep in your stomach. “I want to be your….” Your voice trailed off.
The bus stopped and everyone gasped as you got up and headed out of the bus. Peyton following behind. Standing in front of Peyton you turn around.
“Let’s go home,” Peyton said with a beautiful smile, making you blush.
As you walk up to Peyton’s front porch you see the newspaper.
“I’m sorry,” Peyton spoke, pushing the paper out of the way.
You smile, “It’s okay Peyton.”
Taking you inside Peyton introduced you to Ms. Johnson.
“Hi! I’m Peyton's mother!” she said happily.
“I love the happy atmosphere here.” You say smiling.
“Come on! Let’s go to my room!” Peyton said.
You run trying to catch up.
“This way” Peyton says throwing the backpack into the room and sitting on the neatly made bed.
You join Peyton sitting on the bed.
“Her name was Julian. She was my best friend.” Peyton spoke.
“Matthew.” You spoke softly.
Peyton hugs you tightly.
“It wasn’t your fault and I Know you’re tired of hearing that….” Peyton spoke strongly.
Tears flooded your eyes.
“I… I couldn’t do anything.” You sputter embracing Peyton.
“Neither could I,” Peyton said quietly.
You both sat on the bed quietly. You stared into Peyton’s eyes. Peyton looked up into your eyes, a deep knot tied in your stomach.
Peyton moved closer.
“I’m sorry, um…” Peyton muttered.
“It’s fine…” You say wiping away the tears.
“So um… I guess… Uhm.”
“Peyton. Thank You.” You say softly.
“Your Welcome… It’s just, I know what it’s like to need a friend, and that’s all that I wanted.”
“Oh, Peyton…” You speak softly
“I’m so sorry. I just, also… needed someone.” Peyton blushed.
Peyton got up and grabbed you up too and flipped on the radio.
You two start to dance with each other. You spin and dance and have fun. You and Peyton laugh and giggle.
Laughing and playing the song becomes slow and Peyton pulls you closer into a slow dance. Gently you hold Peyton and dance. You and Peyton make eye contact, gently lean in closer.
The softness of Peyton’s lips brush against yours, you quickly pull away blushing.
“Peyton… I’m sorry…” You say as you look at the blood red face of the once happy face of Peyton.
“I’m sorry too.” you both sit there stunned and happy about what had just happened. You brush the hair from Peyton’s face.
“I’m glad I met you.”
“Me too Peyton.” You say as you too hug.
Peyton holds your hand and you blush, feeling tingly. You and Peyton shared a lovely dinner with Peyton’s mother.
“Thank You, Peyton.” You say, laying down on the bed, Peyton sleeping on the floor.
“No Thank You,” Peyton said.
You blush taking in the fact that, you have a friend. Someone who’s there for you in your time of need. That’s all you’ve wanted. That’s all you’ve needed. A Friend.
All You Need
You wake up, a cold sweat rolling down your back and down your forehead.