Falling in Like

August 4, 2016
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You know that moment when everything in the world stops?  And you can only focus on one thing in front of you?  No matter how hard you try, all you can do is stand like a statue?  Not a single muscle in your body moves- well, except those vital to keep you alive.  Do you know that feeling?

Maybe, maybe not.  All I know for certain is that if you have ever felt like this, you'd know.  I can't imagine anyone forgetting what falling in love feels like.  That's right.  I, Amanda Baker, was falling in love.

Now, it didn't happen exactly like I said, but that's how everyone says falling in love feels like.  I think they're idiot.  The way they describe it- world stops, can't move, one focus- sounds more like death than love.  Though some would argue that they are the same. 

For me, I don't think I'm neccessarily in love.  I'm only a junior in high school and as adults like to point out, not a "real" adult.  So really, how much of love could I know and understand?  The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not falling in love.  It's more like I'm falling in like.  But, even that, the emotions are the same.

I feel... well, I don't know exactly how I feel.  But I'm a girl, so I'm allowed to have mood swings.  He makes me... I don't know.  Is it bad, that I can't describe what I'm feeling?  When I look at him... nothing spectacular happens, I guess.  It's not like I see fireworks or something.  That only happens in the movies.  Did I want there to be a big parade whenever I looked at him?  Sure.  But that's not real life.

God, I'm really butchering what I'm trying to say.  I've said a whole lot of words, but nothing at all.  Why must this be so difficult?  There are three simple questions at answer.  I feel blank.  He makes me blank.  When I look at him blank.  Okay, maybe not so simple.  Maybe it's more like rocket science.  Let's try this again.

I feel... nervous when he's around.  It's like he's always looking at me.  I feel... excited when he sits next to me.  Though then it's harder to stare at him.  I feel, weird.  There are a whole bunch of emotions swirling through my head.

He makes me... want to look nice.  Unlike my younger brother, I refuse to wear sweatshirts to school everyday.  He makes me... giggle at jokes he makes.  I can't help it.  He makes me... happy.  Plain and simple.

When I look at him... a great big smile breaks out on my face.  Which is sometimes annoying during class.  When I look at him... blood rushes to my checks.  The same thing happens ever time someone mentions his name.  When I look at him... I feel myself leaning in closer.  I know it's wrong, but I just can't help myself.

There I go again, sounding like one of those girls who fawns over unavilable guys.  Yes, I know he has a girlfriend, but I just can't help myself.  The heart is a fickle piece of body that can't be controlled by reason or logic.  Nothing I do will be able to stop it.  I can't help who I like.

It's just like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.  Even though the Beast forces her to stay with him against her will and is a big, hairy, unattractive, ugly monster, she still falls for him.  H---, she even breaks a curse for him by kissing his huge, beast-y looking lips.  If that's not true love, I don't know what is.

By going off of that, all I have to do is kiss him.  Then he would fall for me and be all mine.  But, as I have explained before, my life isn't a movie.  Kissing won't solve any problems- it will just create more.  I won't be able to fast forward through all the drama that would come out of it either.  Besides, I don't even look like Belle anyways.  That yellow dress would look awful on me.

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