Obsession

February 11, 2009
I'm running, running. Pushing myself faster, faster. Branches whip against my face giving me little pivots of pain that just drive me further, faster, running far far away from the previous scene. The scene that will forever be locked into my memory, never to be forgotten. The wind blows against my face as I fly by, passing all the trees, animals, leaves, grass. A branch pops out on the ground, making me tumble to the ground. I catch myself with my hands, but get a mouthful of dirt, anyway. I spit it out and let my hands slide away, making me fall those last few inches to the cold, wet, hard ground. I allow myself to stop, to let my running thoughts catch up with me. Daniel, car, glass' shattering; metal'bending; him' dying.

He went away; he's never coming back. Not tomorrow, not the next day, not the next day after that, not next week, not next year' not ever. I roll to my back with my eyes still closed. I open them unwillingly. I see him. Why can I see him? I'm confused. I blink, and when my eyes open, he's gone. Again.

Now I get it; it was a mirage, a trick of my idiotic mind. How could my mind betray me like this? Does it think that seeing him will be good for me? That seeing him again will help me recover faster?

Recovery. I was in for a long ride that would most likely end up in another crash like the one I was just in. Except this one, I wouldn't survive.

I was in a crash. It just hit me. Am I hurt? I can't feel anything. All I can feel is the overpowering feeling of loss. Like I've lost my soul; my other half; the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. And now I'm not.

The sky and trees above me start to blur. Are those tears? Am I really crying? How dare I. Daniel would never want me to cry, not over him, not over anyone. He wanted me to be strong like him.

But he wasn't strong enough to endure the crash. Does that mean I'm stronger than him? I'm still breathing, still living.
I have to stop crying. Anything to make the tears go away. Anything to make the hurt go away.
I get to my feet and lurch forward. I fall. This time it isn't the tree branch. I fell warmth- why am I warm? It's coming from my stomach- lower stomach. I reach down; I felt the warmth. When I look at my hand, I see red, nothing but red. I hate the color red.
I saw that color way too much already today. Red is not good.
I can feel the drowsiness overcoming me, taking me by force. But why am I resisting it? If I die, won't I be with Daniel? That's all I want.
I felt the seconds tick by.
Here I come, Daniel' I'm running... running... running towards you...





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

jesusfreakgirl said...
May 19, 2010 at 6:11 pm

this was good. i liked it... so far though i think Rings is my all-time favorite :) nice work, keep it up.

-Rosa

 
princess69203 replied...
May 19, 2010 at 6:36 pm
thanks, I wrote this piece the first class of my creative writing class 2nd semester of my junior year.... it all just came flooding out... woolah, magic =) though i have had other pieces since then that i've liked better.....
 
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