Betrayal

January 12, 2009
By Ashby Moncure, Richmond, VA

It is unfair. She longs to be free of what constrains her, to taste the forbidden fruit. He is the serpent, and she is curious. Unknowingly he tempts her, proffering the apple she so longs to taste. But she can’t. She cannot shatter the Eden she lives in, for it all that she knows. Taking the fruit he offers, savoring it, will cast her into a world without shelter and love. And unlike Eve, there will be no Adam to guide her.



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This article has 8 comments.


on May. 5 2011 at 1:13 pm
TheBlackRose BRONZE, Madrid, Other
3 articles 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
I knew who I was this morning, but I´ve changed a few times since then

Nice narration, I like the way you write the story.

lollypops GOLD said...
on Dec. 20 2010 at 8:57 pm
lollypops GOLD, Pilot, Virginia
16 articles 5 photos 219 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live

i like it i loved how you used historical references to give alot of people something to connecct to

on Nov. 15 2010 at 4:49 pm
Ashley Kristine Bueckert, Manitoba, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
wow...i like it. its just like the bible!

on Oct. 13 2010 at 8:37 pm
mrvillamor BRONZE, Dasmarinas City, Other
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you."

Not bad. I'm curious on what happened.

on Sep. 16 2010 at 6:19 pm
Minnimouse SILVER, Elizabeth, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment
i think that the forbidden fruit thing is a little cliche you should try rewording it to make it your own

sbear406 GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 9:28 am
sbear406 GOLD, Summit, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.
Read more at

love it!!

on Mar. 13 2010 at 9:39 pm
sleeplessdreamer PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
30 articles 0 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have always wanted to write in such a way that people say, 'I have always thought that but never found the words for it.'" -anonymous

Wow, this absolutely fantastic! Probably one of the best things I've read on this site. Five stars! Great work.

on Jan. 13 2010 at 10:23 pm
weirdonpurpose SILVER, Georgetown, Texas
6 articles 12 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
art is happening

WOW i loved this!! you are so talented to get your idea, and emotion, and mood all across in so few words!! bravo!! :D


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