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Too Close for Hope

You’d think it wouldn’t be hard not to fall in love with your best friend. Wrong. In fact it’s probably easier than falling for a stranger.

So here I sit, with her, the girl I have fallen for, cradled into my lap. Her head is perfectly nestled underneath my chin and the scent of her shampoo, it smells like fresh lilacs, is floating off of her hair. It makes me want to cry. It can be so difficult to sit here with her so close and all I can do is say nothing.

She fingers the hem of my flare jeans and nods her approval towards my beat up Converse. “I like those, how long you had ‘em?”

I quickly respond, taking any chance to talk with her, “Long enough to know I probably should get new ones…”

She laughs under her breath and kicks off her own beat up shoes, though hers are black leather boots, and pulls her long legs up to her chest nestling deeper into my chest. And all I can think is ‘maybe she likes me too’ when at the same time I’m too scared to hope for that.

She murmurs into my neck “You’re so warm and comfy, how do you do it?”

Laughing, I respond “well I am wearing like three sweaters, maybe that’s it?” Funny she thinks I’m warm, because I have goosebumps from the sheer proximity of our bodies.

Lifting her head, she studies my face as if searching for a new freckle or blemish to show up out of the blue. But instead of pointing out the bright red zit on my forehead, she instead grabs my chin and, pulling my head down to look her in the eye, announces “You have the most beautiful eyes”

Surprised, I respond “Uh, Thanks I guess… you know I’ve always been envious of the way you can pull off that flame of yours.”

“Really? Of all things you’re envious of my hair?”

“Of course! I’ve always wanted red hair but never been able to actually pull it off”

“Do me a favor?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Never dye your hair”

I have this long mass of ironically straight golden brown hair so my voice is questioning as I answer “Sure... Why?”

“It highlights your eyes, your bright eyes”

After she said that she got ‘the look’. You know how someone’s eyes kinda soften and they lick their lips? Well I call that ‘the look’ oftentimes its the way a person looks when they are determined to kiss the person nearest to them. And thats exactly what she did.

She pressed her lips to mine and, honest to God, I don’t think I had ever kissed someone back so hard until that moment. I pull her body into mine and tangled my free hand into her hair. I whisper into her neck “How long?”

She pulls away from me and my hand drops to her waist. Her eyes are laughing as she says “Too long to not have done this earlier”



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