My World

December 3, 2008
By Chelsea.Anne GOLD, D, Other
Chelsea.Anne GOLD, D, Other
17 articles 2 photos 9 comments

Headphones in, eyes closed. She swayed slightly and tapped her foot to the sound of the music in such a way that I could almost feel the beat inside me. She was across the street, sitting on a partially white bench with large spots where the paint had began to peel, revealing the natural wood. It was a cold day. The first truly cold day of the year. The sky was hazy overhead, threatening to burst open and sprinkle a dusting of early snow.
But she was dressed warm. Short hair peeking out underneath a black-knit cap, her delicate neck wrapped in an over-large blue scarf. She was stunning. She didn’t belong on the graffiti-covered, old gum-encrusted bench. But there she was, every morning at the same time, in that same spot, listening to music intently. The world was blurred around her, and she didn’t seem to notice it.
Some days she would bring a book with her. She was even more marvelous while concentrating, her head lowered, occasionally lifting her hand to tuck a loose strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face back into the hat.
The bus pulled up and I averted my eyes to look into the now luke-warm cup of black coffee. Without really thinking I took a sip, grimaced. I didn’t like warm coffee. The waitress was at the table now, looking across the street at the bus, one eyebrow raised. She asked me if I wanted her to refill my cup. I shook my head. She started to leave, then came back, her white tennis-shoe squeaking against the pea-soup colored tiles as she turned on her heel. She leaned forward, resting one hand on the table, the other on her hip. She looked slightly aged, perhaps from raising children, I guessed. But her eyes told a different story. They were large and youthful, deep brown.
“I see you in here every morning,” she said quietly, her eyes laughing like a child‘s. “Talk to her.” Her back was already turned to me before I could say anything, and I watched her disappear into the kitchen, then looked out the window. Too late. She was gone with the bus.
I pursed my lips and sighed, left the waitress a tip by the half-empty cold coffee. I gathered up my things, a ratty black computer bag full of paper and pens instead of a laptop, and the newspaper I had bought at a stand.
I tucked the newspaper under my arm and pushed open the glass door. The cold wind swirled against my face, kissing my cheeks red. My eyes focused on a flake of snow falling in front of me. I watched it, swirling slightly in the breeze, slowly until it touched the cracked sidewalk.
The world repositioned itself in front of me, suddenly covered in a whirlwind of white. I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets and started off down the street, drinking in the fresh scent that the new snow brought with it. Maybe tomorrow, I thought, turning the corner and leaving behind the little coffee shop.



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This article has 62 comments.


Jenna_V BRONZE said...
on Nov. 10 2009 at 7:10 pm
Jenna_V BRONZE, Saginaw, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is neither good nor evil, only thinking makes it so." Shakespeare

I feel this story is incomplete. I know you have been getting many positive comments about this particular piece yet I cannot see why. You start stong and create a vivid image of your narrator but I sense no real conflict, no suspense. He's too scared to tell the girl how he feels. So what? You have to create a reason for me to care about him and his mystery woman. Would I care because he only has a certain amount of time to tell her before she moves/ he moves. Is she a childhood friend and he is desperately trying to get out of the friend zone? There needs to me more. I would consider this a nice start to what could be a wonderful story.

on Nov. 10 2009 at 5:09 pm
freespirit94 GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
11 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in their looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are."
-Marcus Zusak

This is really great! The ending is open ended though, so I'd love to read more, but I guess that's what makes it such a great story right?

on Oct. 19 2009 at 7:48 pm
Fight4Love SILVER, Scott Depot, West Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is crazy and sometimes you hate it, but it isn't what other people think, it's what you do to make them think that." -One of my friends

this is wonderful and you should def. write one in HER pov. Great job! :D

on Oct. 19 2009 at 5:57 pm
Chelsea.Anne GOLD, D, Other
17 articles 2 photos 9 comments
OR, I might put them both up. I'm not sure yet.

Liv_2010 said...
on Oct. 19 2009 at 5:56 pm
I loveeeee your writing! Apparently, I'm not the only one that like this article :)

Chelsea D said...
on Oct. 19 2009 at 5:03 pm
I suppose, because of the requests, that I'll write the next piece =]

But I need to know-should I continue it from his POV, or should I write in hers this time? Let's make this spimple, put Hers! for her POV, and His! for his POV. Whichever gets the most comments, I'll write it in that POV.

Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback!

Chelsea D.

on Oct. 19 2009 at 2:04 pm
tennisislovee34 GOLD, Sterling Heights, Michigan
15 articles 3 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every moment of your life, you're writing. Even in your dreams, you're writing. When you walk the halls in this school you meet various people and you write furiously in your head." -Frank McCourt

I really like it but I'd love to hear more

on Oct. 19 2009 at 10:23 am
Westie_candies2012 BRONZE, Metamora, Michigan
3 articles 2 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get." Forest gump

Id like to know more, what happens between them?

on Oct. 2 2009 at 11:05 pm
Chelsea Dartlon SILVER, D, Oklahoma
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I have another account with two other articles if anyone would like to check them out. Thank you so much! Here's the first article:

TeenInk.com/fiction/all/article/129931/Snap/

Roryl SILVER said...
on Oct. 2 2009 at 6:27 pm
Roryl SILVER, Mt. Olive, North Carolina
7 articles 14 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. ~C.S. Lewis

This article is phenomenal. Very descriptive and charming. Write some more, please!

on Sep. 27 2009 at 1:03 pm
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous

I loved it! So original! Write more!

ps13795 SILVER said...
on Sep. 27 2009 at 6:52 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
I loved it!!!! You're a really great writer and I hope you keep it up!!! Wow!!! ^_^

. said...
on Sep. 13 2009 at 8:07 pm
Oh my goodness gracious. This piece is absolutely amazing! The first paragraph really drew me in and it just got better. I love it so much, and all of the descriptive details really give me a picture for what's going on. Great work! Keep writing!

on Sep. 8 2009 at 9:56 pm
Chelsea.Anne GOLD, D, Other
17 articles 2 photos 9 comments
Thank you! Everyone, for the positive feedback. I never expected anyone to say anything close to these comments.

I have been writing since...well as long as I can remember, before I was writing, I was telling stories. Again, Thank you so much!

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Sep. 8 2009 at 4:48 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

I told you this was amazing!

FrankiP said...
on Sep. 8 2009 at 9:27 am
That was amazing. That's all I can say.

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Sep. 6 2009 at 1:11 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

Yes, thank you for clearing that up. I'm not the most tech-savvy so my typing skills are minimal at the most... When I said 'girt' I meant 'gift'. Please forgive my clumsiness. The point that I wanted to make was that your level of skill is not something that can be learned, its something you're born with. Like Laurenx3 said, "You're meant to be a writer."

God bless and sorry for the confusion,

...,

Laurenx3 said...
on Sep. 5 2009 at 4:16 pm
She means that this isnt a talent that you have worked for or taken classes for. You were born with a talent for writing. You are ment to be a writer.

on Sep. 5 2009 at 3:59 pm
Chelsea.Anne GOLD, D, Other
17 articles 2 photos 9 comments
I'm sorry but I'm just a little confused. You started out saying that 'you're speechless', and if it doesn't end up in the magazine, 'someone else will pick it up, and then you said, 'You possess no talent what-so-ever. What you have cannot be called anything but a girt'

And then go on saying that its a 'remarkable piece'. What exactly do you mean?

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Sep. 5 2009 at 12:43 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

I'm speechless. If this doesn't land in the magazine it will certainly be picked up by someone else. You created such and image in my head. Its amazing. You possess no talent what-so-ever. What you have cannot be called anything but a girt. Once again, a remarkably well-done piece. Keep writing, please, I can't wait to see what more you put out there.

God bless,

...,




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