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Broken

October 12, 2013
By holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
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holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
12 articles 8 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There was no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself' - Magnus Bane

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Cold but soothing, the glass slipper was like silk on my skin. Luxurious things drifted past my eyes on clouds as I imagined the life I would lead. Gazing into those chocolate eyes, my heart melted. Perfect. Swimming in radiant thoughts, my brain sent a beaming smile to my lips when I realized the slipper fitted. Crash. The eyes shattered; the slipper splintered; my dreams disintegrated. Shivering, I pulled my ragged clothes closer – they didn't protect my heart from the icy mist. Suffocating, savage shadows danced on the extremity of my mind. Monstrous. The slipper didn't fit. Are you surprised?

© Hilary R., Woodland Hills, CA

The author's comments:
This was a project for school,I had to write a story in less than 100 words.
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This article has 5 comments.

crazyzm BRONZE said...
on Feb. 25 2014 at 11:49 am
crazyzm BRONZE, Greensboro, North Carolina
3 articles 7 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I hated every moment of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'"
-Muhammad Ali

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The words you used described your work so well, that it didn't need to be more than 100 words. Great job!
Tizzy BRONZE said...
on Nov. 24 2013 at 5:13 am
Tizzy BRONZE, Dhaka, Other
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
I sleep to much, parents complain. I sleep less, parents complain. I go out too much, parents complain. I don't go out too much, parents complain. I play games too much, parents complain. I play games less, parents complain. I CANT WIN!

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It's breathtakingly good! I thought it was gonna be a happy ending...but that thought kinda after i read the second line...it's really good! Keep it up!
TimexxFlies GOLD said...
on Nov. 4 2013 at 11:15 am
TimexxFlies GOLD, Sunland, California
16 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't know the key to success. However, the key to failure is trying to please everybody. ~Bill Cosby

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I just wanted to say that I have selected you for my WSS. :) You have a good talent, and you first mission is to write an article about a personal experience. I want it done by 11/15/13 <3
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 30 2013 at 8:38 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

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Dang this is good! I thought of cinderella immediately, but then at the end it reminded me of Cinder (an amazing book that if you haven't read, you must read it). Your description was really good and your diction was pretty much perfect. There's not much critisism I can give. Keep up the great writing!
Calliashi SILVER said...
on Oct. 29 2013 at 9:52 am
Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown. ~James Moriarty

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Wow, plot twist! I thought this would be about Cinderella but it seemsmore like her stepsisters or another peasant in the land. Your descriptions were gorgeous and I couldn't do better if I tried.