Too Long; Too Gone

October 7, 2013
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Even as the moments progressed on I knew every second of it was completely and inappropriately wrong but for some reason I just couldn’t stop. For just that one second in time I was weak. I needed you to remind me that we were still in love and because you could not I found someone else to do so. And when you came busting through that little motel door with all your fires blazing I knew that was how you were going to remind me. But now nothing about our love seems to be the same.

Sometimes when I look into your eyes I can see all the lies I’ve ever told you. I can see the way each one of them has stabbed you in the heart and made you feel weak. Some of them I’m sure didn’t hurt as bad as others, just a couple needle pricks here and there. But I know other wounds will never heal because the knife was too thick and now it’s been too long and there is nothing I can do to change that. Every so often when we sit out on the porch and drink sweet tea together laughing until the sun goes down and the night gets cold I almost can’t see the pain in you anymore. Everything goes back to the way it used to be and for a moment life doesn’t feel so fake like it usually does. I wonder if this will be the night that you actually forgive me and so I take your hand and sing to you the song that made us fall in love. You laugh at me when I forget the words and make up my own but I always get the melody right and you hum right along because I know no matter what it will always be your favorite tune. At the end of the song you intertwine our two bodies and kiss my lips so softly that I can’t help but feel bad I ever let your heart go. When I look at you tonight I can no longer see the time I hurt you so bad I thought we would never look back but instead I see the real you. I see the 17 year old girl I met at a Navy party only aged 47 years and I see the mother to my three beautiful daughters and only son. But most importantly I see the biggest mistake of my life was almost letting her slip away because this women wrapped in my arms is the only person I would die for and will love forever.

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