Did you ever know that it's you?

August 20, 2013
By TommieLeah GOLD, Lagos, Other
TommieLeah GOLD, Lagos, Other
17 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be a first rate edition of yourself, not the second rate edition of another.

Did you ever know that It hurts to know that I'm so near and yet so far. That every time we hold hands, that feeling I feel, you don't feel. That I see something in your eyes that you don't see in mind. That I'm here and you don't notice, that I know you care, but I want you to care in another way. Every time I want to tell you what lurks deep within, you flash that smile and the words escape from my mouth, unwillingly. I want to be there for you not the way that I am now, but better. I want to be the only one you think about, I want you to feel what I feel when we hold hands, but that's not on your agenda, is it? I know you like Ina, who doesn't? You become a complete klutz around her, but I still think it's cute, it brings out the soft side you have that no one else sees. Ina kind of likes you too, she keeps asking question about you, and I try so hard not to meddle in this budding romance, but it hurts. I'm just here and she's way over there, I've been here for ages and you're just beginning to know her, yet what you feel for her surpasses what you feel for me, and I am heart broken by that.

"Do you think she'll like roses?" you ask me.
"Every girl loves roses, especially when the right person gives it to them," I give a hint, but it's worthless.
"Thanks Amy, "you give me one of those hugs that makes me tick, one of those hugs that I hope will someday lead to our first kiss.
But to whom does that matter, no one but me.
"I hope you enjoy your date, it took you a lot of courage to pull the question out of your mouth."
But deep inside, I wish Ina eats some spoilt tomatoes or something, and gives your shirt an entirely different design, and a unique fragrance too.
"Goodbye, Jake," I whisper as you drive out of your driveway, "I hope you find out some day, what you always do to me and why I am powerless against your smile.

Watching you two twirl into class together is one of those memories I wish an alien could erase from my memory. I am beginning to hate you, but hate is to strong a word. Too strong for someone who always has my back, you're always there for me, regardless of your situation, and Ina isn't really a bad person I might just let this one slide. Besides, you've been with her for like four months, what choice do I have. For now, I'll just hold back the tears that creep into my eyes, or forever.
"Amy, when are you going to give him a chance?" you ask me anxiously.
"Asher! C'mon, he really really likes you."
I like you too, but I don't see us happening.
"I'm not sure I feel the same way, besides, he's not my type."
"That's what you say about every guy!"
No, there is one guy, he's looking at me, and he doesn't know it.
"Jacob, I am not ---"
"Great, he's coming this way now, just do it this one time for me," he begs, I only wish he didn't ask me to do that for him, I couldn't say no.
"Hey, Amy, you mind hanging out some time?"
This was probably the seventy-second time he'd asked me that question. A lot of guys ask me out, trust me, but I'm waiting for that one special person.
I glance at you briefly and I see you have your puppy face on and I'm forced to say yes, with a bitter smile.

Maybe it's not so awful, having someone continuously think about you all the time. There is this nice feeling of being loved attached to it. I smile at Asher. But he's not the reason, you are. You always are. And because of you, I'll give Asher a chance.
" Jacob told me you like roses, I hope you like it," he hands me a white rose, as pure as his smile.
"Thanks," I smile at him, I never actually knew it would feel this nice to get a rose form someone who cared.
The evening went out quite fine, we actually have a lot in common. Either that or he found a way for his parents to get back together in a few days. The evening was full of life, just like Asher, and little by little, that life began to seep into me. And I was beginning to like it. You walk me to my house and we keep talking, and I'm almost intrigued by you, almost I tell you. And all of a sudden your voice begins to sound soothing to my ears.
"I hope you had a great time," you ask me after our first date, and I'm beginning to think I don't mind another.
"Yes, " I say before you sneak a kiss on my cheek, and I like it. "Thanks, Asher."

New fires develop in me, and old ones quench. I feel 'loved' now, and I'm ready to continue with Asher. He's a nice guy and he likes me, and he shows it without going over the top. My parents love him too, and his parents like me. We have a lot in common, and now his smile is beginning to melt my heart. And when he holds my hand, there's a spark deep within. And thought I'm afraid to say it, I just might be falling for him.

"Ooh, Asher told me all about it. Wow, to think that you guys would need to date for one month before a first kiss," Jake was shrieking in my ear now, and I couldn't waste another opportunity to blush.
"Jerk! What's up with Ina by the way, haven't been hearing much."
"Yeah, the thrill isn't there any more."
"it's only been five months."
"Feels like a year to me though."
"c'mon, what happened to the Jake I know, and the one Ina loves."
"He drowned," he says jokingly just before Asher comes by
"Hi Jacob, and He-llo beautiful," he plants a sweet kiss on my cheek again, "so what's up?"
"O-M-G!!!" Ina says with that 'wonderful' voice, "wouldn't it be so cool if we got together for a double date?"
Yeah, It'd be so freaking cool, yeah, right.

Here I am going on some freaking double date that I don't want to go one. At least I'm not the only one, Jake's kind of freaked out too. So, I'm sitting beside Asher and directly opposite Jacob. I can see the icky and lovey-dovey faces he's making at me, and I'm pushed to laugh, all of a sudden, my phone rings, and it's exposed that I totally love Justin Bieber!
I dash out to see who it is, and what's up, but before I got there, it stopped. Anyway, I wasn't too sad to get 'butt-dialled' at this point. I decided I'd stick around here for a while. I look in through the window, and Asher's the only one on the table and he's texting, or tweeting or posting on facebook, but I'm not sure I care. The breeze is cool and fullfilling, and I'm taking in the fresh air when someone startles me.
" So, who was that?"
"Abbie. She probably but-dialled."
"Mmm hmm, why're you not inside?"
"Amy, I don't think I really like Ina. I think what I felt was just infatuation. Besides, there's someone else that I like now."
"Although I like Ina, I don't mind hearing where this is going," I said excited to hear him. I had crossed fingers that it would be Sara. She'e crazy about him and they'd be the perfect couple and I wouldn't mind going on a ………..
"It's you."

The author's comments:
This was something I pulled out from within, and please please comment!!Thanks for reading

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