I have made many mistakes in my life. I have made many choices I regret. I have ended things and then later on wish I hadn’t. Last night, I had a glimpse of happiness. I was transformed by a dream that took me to a different world. It wasn’t so much a particular event, it was a person who gave me this happiness. His eyes, his voice, his hair, his personality, his laugh; everything in this person made me happy. I remember laying there, side by side, talking and laughing. We were holding hands, we were carefree. I remember his body, as he held me close. I can remember the warmth and familiarity of it, the feeling of his arms holding me close. I remember peace. As the morning dawned and I awoke from my dream, I felt sad. I had made a choice a year ago, a choice that I regret. I gave up the happiness I had, for nothing. Now I sit here wishing I could have it all back. He is the only person, who has made me feel that.
July 31, 2013