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Waddle Waddle Penguin. Part Three.

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Part Three:
I was only cloud nine or should I say cloud sixty nine…No, no I shouldn’t.
The memories from that afternoon played over and over again; His lips close to mine before he went in for the kiss. That’s what gets my heart racing. I can’t believe that someone like him would want someone like me but hey I’m all for it! The problem with me is that I over think. Badly. I get a negative thought in my head and then things just spin out of control, negative though after negative thought. My head is like a neutron sometimes.
To make my procrastinating even worse a joyous call from the creepy ex-boyfriend was scheduled. We have been broken up for over a month and he is NEW ZEALAND and he still calls me. Seriously. LEAVE ME ALONE. To say he ruined my buzz would be a bit of an understatement. In a state of irrational rage I blocked him on Facebook and texted him saying:
“I’m sorry for hanging up but I have enough on my plate without you whining at me. Honestly, you are causing me un- necessary drama so please just move on and let me be. Sorry. Also, you ruined my day today. Bye.”
Probably not my finest hour but the guy is so annoying; just imagine having thousands of leeches attached to you all the time, never leaving your side, draining every ounce of you. Yeah dating him was like that, except worse. I don’t know about you but if I was in New Zealand I certainly wouldn’t be ringing my ex.
I don’t want to talk about leech boy.
Lover boy was the most confusing human being I had ever met; how can his attitude change within one message! I knew he liked me but I was too naive at first to notice that he only wanted to talk when he needed me. I didn’t want to be that creepy, annoying girl that wouldn’t leave him alone so leave him alone was exactly what I did. If he just wanted to be snogging buddies then I would be the best snogging buddy he had ever had. I would be his game. I would play the player.
So that was my plan, I figured that if I did what he did to me then somehow he would fall for me. I know, I didn’t say the plan was going to work but it does mean more snogging! I had to resist the urge to text him like I really wanted to talk to him but I knew that in order for my plan to work I need to be like a glacier. In hind sight I probably shouldn’t have taken love advice from every Romantic Comedy I had ever seen though I do find the move Friends with Benefits to be quite helpful; “No Relationship. No emotions. Just sex”.
My life would be so much simpler if Steven Spielberg directed it; No matter how many times I screw up I would win and I would always get my guy. Stupid movies leading us into a false sense of security, actually believing in happy endings and “Love at first sight”. It’s utter bullshizzle. Actually who am I kidding, I’m going to go watch The Titanic in a corner while I eat instead of resolving my problems.



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