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Wishes...

There I was, sitting alone at my desk, when I heard you pull the chair out from next to me. You asked me what my name was, and I told you. You were so kind to me, always were. We became best friends throughout the years. We even tried being more than friends, but that lasted only 8 months. I never realized that I would miss you, but I did. During the summer after my eighth grade year, after we broke up, I was crushed. I needed you, missed you. I e-mailed you, asking you back into my arms. I needed you, your hugs. You were my shelter, my strong-hold, my shelter from the storm.

In our freshman year, I was scared to talk to you. I was afraid you would deny everything that every happened between us. But, you came and sat next to me. Asked me how my summer was. It was almost Déjà vu. We started to talk, and I turned to face you, making it easier to talk. After about fifteen minutes, I looked down and realized we were holding hands. I pulled away, frightened. We weren’t even dating, and we were holding hands? I was confused, and I didn’t want to get close to you again, at least like.

We talked constantly throughout the year, becoming best friends. You, like always, was there to hold me when I cried, to comfort me in my sadness. You were always kind to me and you always were so funny. You laughed, and you knew me. You knew everything about me. My deepest darkest secrets, and my past. You knew how to make me feel better, even when I didn’t want to talk about it.

Second semester came around, and we were closer than ever in our ‘friend-zone’ state. We told each other everything. We were each other’s diary. It was so cool, being able to have someone like that when you knew I didn’t have that relationship with anybody else. I told you once that I wanted to tell you something, but I was scared you would deny me or not want to be my friend. Being the good friend you were, you kept asking me what was wrong so I could get it off my chest. I told you eventually.

“I like you again Alex. I am so sorry. I wish I didn’t because I don’t want to go through that pain again, but I just couldn’t help myself. Do you like me again? Are you willing to take in this sad and broken girl?”

You looked at me, considering.

“Maybe next year. Sophomore year.” You said.

I was crushed. I would have to wait a whole summer. Why would you do that to me? Make me wait a whole summer just to see if the guy I love and always will love would take me back into his arms? You crushed me once Alex, if you crush me after this summer, I don’t know what I will do. Be crushed and alone. That is what will happen. I hope and pray that you will take me back.

I love you Alex, and nobody else. Understand that, and we will eventually see that we are all we need.



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roselovestulips said...
May 21, 2013 at 12:50 pm:
Aww so cute. And I was there to watch it all considering I sit next to y'all. I feel so special. XD Yes you love "Alex"!  
 
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