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Unhinged

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small, narrow face stares

defeated into a chipped

china cup sitting

in a stool with stuffing pouring

out like broken

dreams, longing looks

out of a grime coated

roadside bar window wings

too damaged to try to fly

sidelong glances at other

lonely table hoggers sitting

frozen hunched around a lukewarm

cup of coffee swishes of hair and fervent

eyes skim broken tires and oil stained

men in a nearby store

chipped polish nails catch

the sunlight mid wave to

a man smiling who looks

about her age she wonders

what will come of the false hope

she calls a future brain spinning

wordless circles in a shadowed orb

like spiders spinning webs in a forest

screen door creeks and the

man steps through beauty amongst

the oil stains present next to a faded name-

tag and other odds and ends

and when he holds out his dirt crusted

hand she graciously accepts and they

take off through the unhinged door

with nothing but a creek to announce their departure.



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This article has 9 comments. Post your own!

StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 24, 2013 at 7:20 pm:
  I admire your ability to tell a story within poetry. :) I know that can be quite difficult to do, but you executed it very well. I love the dingy and confined feeling you captured towards the beginning, followed by the release at the end. Great work!
 
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Metal4Life said...
May 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm:
This poem had awesome descriptive imagery, it defiantly created a great image in my brain! It had a very unique form to it, which compelled me as a reader! Great work!
 
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Indigo.Loves.Someone said...
May 4, 2013 at 11:59 am:
Great! I love the descriptions you used in this piece. Only thing to fix is a couple of spelling errors (Creak). This is really, really good.
 
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JustAnotherOwl said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:10 pm:
I love love love the story of this. It's beautifully written, and it sounds even more amazing if you read it aloud. I think this is very unique and I absolutely love it!
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 3:21 pm:
Very unique from most prose writing. Contains some poetic elemets adding to the effect and romance of the story.
 
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Hanban12This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:52 am:
I love this!! The concept is very unique; love the whole coffee shop idea. I can tell you put alot of work into this and the story line is great! I love poems with stories and hidden meanings. Please write more :)
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:59 pm:
For the people who don't understand this, you need to read it aloud and it will be very clear. You put the periods where they make sense and ta-da! It's a really lovely story. It seems people are sitting in an old diner of some sort and this lady is sitting and looking at everything. She sees how sad some people look. She's a very good observer. She looks outside and sees a man and waves to him. She thinks that won't do anthing, maybe he will just take it as a nice gesture. But, ... (more »)
 
Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 26, 2013 at 3:43 pm :
thanks Lexus. I knew YOU would get it. and i did read it aloud for jess but she didnt get it anyway. i guess she didnt see the point. but whatvere, glad you understand!!!! can't wait until your new piece gets posted!
 
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jess14 said...
Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:48 pm:
i dont get it
 
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