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Dear Michael

By , Columbus, OH
Dear Michael;
You will never see this letter. Ever. But I have to write it. I have to get these feelings out. You're sitting on the floor below me right now. I'm on your bed next to your sister. I wonder if you can feel me watching you. Cross-legged, on your floor. On your phone - probably texting your girlfriend. Wearing jeans and a bright blue Hollister shirt. Your blond hair is messy, and your blue eyes are especially bright today. You and I have a love/hate relationship. I consider you my best friend, but we fight all the time. You pick me apart and I go home and cry. You are completely oblivious, making you a jerk. But I see past that. I can see that you're sweet. And funny. You're definitely smart. Yet stubborn. Everyone knows I like you. I often wonder if you do.. You make it clear that you don't like me. Earlier you gave me a hug, just joking, because I was mad. You don't realize that it made my day. I almost like when we fight. Because it gives me a chance to get closer to you. I know that sounds stupid, but it's true.. When you take my phone and I tackle you. Or you throw my shoes behind the fence so I hop on your back and make you carry me to them.. You're warm and strong. I just want to be in your arms.
But yesterday, something happened. You were mad at me. And whatever weak form of trust that we had, is broken. Not just with you and I. Also with our friends who were involved. But I can easily heal their trust. It's you who's stubborn. And I have already worked hard to be close to you. Now that's gone..
You and I are actually a lot alike. That's probably why we fight. We're both stubborn. Incredibly stubborn. We always get our way, but then when it's something between us, we both argue until someone gets bored. We're also smart. And sarcastic. We're both incredibly talented when it comes to band class, and we know it too. It's difficult to fight over who's better though, since we don't play the same instruments. We tend to finish each others sentences. We say the same things too. Same expressions, same laughing patterns, same things that make us mad.
I don't know why we continue to press each others buttons..

I just don't know.

I should not feel this way. You're one of my best friend's twin brother, and my other's ex. You're off limits, but I can't stay away.

It's like you're that guy that I will never loose feelings for.

I love you.. And I can only dream that someday we will overcome our problems, and you will feel the same.
-Taylor



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