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Lovely

Love,



I miss you. So much you can't even imagine. Everytime I think about you my heart aches. To think of what we could have been. I remember how you adored me, and I you. I remember your hazel eyes. The way your black hair fell into your eyes when you were concentrating. How red your lips were and the way they curved into my favorite smile. I miss your voice and the way you spoke.

Its been weeks and I still remember everything. My constant worry is that the longer we don't speak, the more you forget me.

But I'm not sure I would take you back, if you were given the option. You know what they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater,"

When I moved away you asked me not to see or date anyone, because you loved me, and somehow you would make sure we were together. And I agreed, on the condition you did the same. That was a lie. Everytime we talked you told me you loved me. That too must have been a lie. It sure feels like one. Then you got talking with your ex's, and you kept telling me that you were only friends. And even when my friends and parents told me you weren't the one for me, I still held on to the hope that they were wrong. Then I called you one day.



I remember the day cold, dark, and rainy. We were talking and you say "I need to tell you something, I think I like someone,"

I was speechless with shock.



"I asked her out and we went to dinner and a movie,"



I didn't't want to hear this, but you kept on talking. Almost as if you could not stop.



"She's a security guard." you keep on talking.

Every word you spoke echoed through my head, wrapped around my brain.



Finally you stop talking. Now it was my turn. Thinking back I don't even remember what my response was. I only know I wanted to get off the phone with you as quickly as I could. And honestly I didn't' think it would hurt me. Because I guess I didn't't never expected you to follow through anyway. But to tell the truth, it does hurt. It hurts bad. Knowing now that I was right all along. That all men lie. For once in my life I don't want to be right. You don't know how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong. I guess I just wanted to believe that you weren't like everyone else, that you were different. And in some ways you were. But not in the way it really matters.

Now I don't know what to do. You want me to call you. Why? So you can feed me a line, and I, stupidly fall for it. Again. no. Never again. Now you will know, it is you who lost someone. Even if it means me losing something as well.



forever and Always,




Love




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