Forgot to Laugh Book MAG

January 17, 2013
By Vanaheim SILVER, Kingsville, Other
Vanaheim SILVER, Kingsville, Other
9 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
I prefer being a man with paradoxes than a man with prejudices. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau


I'd never been much of a writer. You know, I bombed every English class I had to take, and even my French teacher was unimpressed with my attempts at stringing words together.

But then I met you, Mr. Writer, and I promised you I'd try to be more literate. I swore to you, and more to myself, that I would be worth your attention.
My friends were waiting for the day we'd go out, and they weren't disappointed. May 19th, you asked me to go for a walk with you, and I was beyond giddy. You didn't know I spent two hours getting ready, overthinking everything from my necklace to the socks I wore inside my boots, because I knew nothing was arbitrary to you.

You brought me to the hill by your house and we were lying down at the top of it. You were watching the stars, and I was watching you. You didn't know how handsome you looked in the moonlight.

There were these poems I'd find in my locker. Scrawled on lined paper in black pen, your signature in red. Red, you said, was the most romantic of all colors. You must have written a dozen love poems for me in the two weeks after that night at the hill.
When you asked me to be your girlfriend you took me back there. No detail was left to chance – the clouds were how you wanted them, I knew, and the stars didn't dare disobey your hopes – because everything meant something to you. I thought that was the most incredible thing.

You didn't bring that other girl to the hill. You brought her home where I wouldn't see you. You brought her to the dock, because I was scared of the lake, and you knew you wouldn't be caught there. You brought her to the soccer fields, because you'd convinced me long ago to give up my dream of being a star soccer player.

But the beauty wasn't in the details. It was in the big picture that you gleefully ignored. It was in Theo, the most introverted and shy person I knew, who wanted to try out for the school soccer team but was too scared to do it without more practice. It was in Theo, who brought back my passion for soccer.

The beauty was in Theo, who let me cry into the shoulder of his leather jacket when we saw you sucking face with the other girl, one hand in her hair, the other holding tight to the goal post. There was no beauty in your calculations anymore, not to me.

He knew I didn't want you to know you'd been caught. I had a plan for you, Mr. Writer, and he kept my secret for me. He accompanied me to the hill and carried the box for me. When we arrived, he dug the hole. Part of me thought he was glad to help me get rid of you.

I put the box in the hole with care, and the shovelful
of dirt dumped over it was deliciously lacking in any symbolism. Without you around, dirt was free to be dirt, and I was free, too.

Shoving the little cardboard tombstone into the dirt, I finally smiled, turning to Theo.

“Glad that s*** be done,” I said, exploring my new ability to speak as I pleased, without trying to follow every strict rule of grammar you pulled out of the air, or more likely, out of your a**.

I know by now you've seen that tombstone, painted pink and soaked in glitter to drive home that I am happy without you, an event I predicted even while I was planning the stunt. By now, you've probably put your foot through it, because Mr. Writer is also King of Short-temperville.

By now, you've read my Forgot to Laugh Book, as I called it, because the last joke you'll ever play on me – cheating – was so funny I forgot to laugh.

I gathered every poem you'd written me and studied them, constructing very similar poems of my own, my favorite of which was my take on your first poem.

"It's been seven months since you caught my eye,
But only four days since I caught your lie.
If I were you, I'd Google how to ­remove a blood stain,
Because I'd rather like to punch you in your jugular vein.
Your night at the soccer field was surely quite sweet,
Because the best taste out there is that of deceit.
Your betrayal must have been a hoot and a half,
And, oh so funny, I forgot to laugh.
From day one you've been washed right out,
I should've realized it before I saw you messing around.
I'd like to point out that you're a scumbag,
And that this is the raising of my battle flag.
It's so on.
And if you have a problem with the path I took,
You can take it up with my Forgot to Laugh Book.
Love, Carrie."

Now, while you're reading my poems, and potentially dying from an attack of symbolism, you can know I'm happy. Theo and I are co-captains of the school's co-ed soccer team. And every time I shoot, I imagine you and her standing between the goal posts, entangled as you were that day. I haven't missed yet.



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This article has 10 comments.


on May. 3 at 2:06 pm
Dani_Higareda GOLD, Hanahan, South Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these." -G.Washington Carver

Oh my gosh! This is very, very beautiful. I like the way that the piece speaks to us, the readers, as though it were you personally talking to us.

on Aug. 25 2014 at 3:25 am
GraffitiQueen BRONZE, Ganemulla, Other
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment
woowww.. this is one of the best articles iv read tz soo beutiful and striaght from heart. amazing piece of work !!!! way to go :)  

on Jul. 22 2014 at 8:55 pm
Molly,Jane SILVER, West Granby, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~Grandma Moses
A heartbreak is a blessing from god. It’s just a way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one. ~ Unknown

I just loved this so much!!!!! IT's incredible and i can tell that you really thought about it. Well done!!!!! This is one of my favorites!!!!

brunett97 GOLD said...
on Jan. 21 2014 at 10:27 pm
brunett97 GOLD, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
10 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
never give up until you are happy with the ending.

I really liked the twist in this story. I start reading expecting a love story when its really a break up story. I lov how you chose to end it and the poem was my favorite. Very creative!

JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 9 2013 at 10:56 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 527 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you."

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, 'I just don't care.'?"

Amazing! :) This is incredibly bitter sweet, just amazing  

on Nov. 9 2013 at 1:59 pm
Hasin328 BRONZE, Carrollton, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If the sky's the limit then why're there footsteps on the moon?-Albert Einstein

I love this!

Atropos GOLD said...
on Nov. 6 2013 at 7:51 pm
Atropos GOLD, Kingsville, Other
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Oscar Wilde

This has just the right balance of sweet and bitter, I love it. As well, I feel like the swear word adds another dimension to the work, that was a great little detail to throw in. Keep writing!

Sonza SILVER said...
on Nov. 6 2013 at 7:53 am
Sonza SILVER, Bhubaneswar, Other
5 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
An apple a day, if well aimed, keeps the doctor away. - P. G. Wodehouse

really beautifully written. just loved the revenge bit. i can understand........ b strong and write on!!!

on Nov. 2 2013 at 5:40 pm
writtenonmysoul PLATINUM, Farmington, New Mexico
20 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

I thought this was beautifully done. I loved the way you ended the story. 

on Feb. 19 2013 at 10:29 pm
aladine_98 SILVER, Hemet, California
8 articles 0 photos 70 comments
At first it was a beautiful love story, then it was all about delicious revenge. You switched right in the middle yet still managed to execute both genres perfectly! And I was practically cheering Carrie on when she got her sweet, sweet justice. :) You got me emotionally involved, which is fantastic! Great job.


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