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Terrible Lovely

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I know that you always use to love the rain. I don't remember much about you, And i don't even remember this bit much, but when the sky gets grey and water pours from the clouds, i can't help but see your face. And i hear your voice whispering my name.

It is raining today. A good hurricane type storm. And i didn't want to forget and don't know how long the rain will keep up so i decided to write it down. But i wanted to say that I'm sorry.

Remember when we were kids. I only had one friend. I know that i only had one friend and there were only thirty kids in our class anyway. And i remember that you were very popular. You knew everyone but me and everyone including you ignored me when i sat by myself and played by myself.

Remember in high school. When i took all of the AP classes and you took AP classes, but we were never in them together. We didn't even know each other, really. But in the hallway between periods we always passed each other and i would look and see that you where never looking.

Then i was so excited to leave that awful school and go to Boston, because i was smart and i was active and i got into a good school far away from home. And then remember when i saw you moving into your dorm and i dropped my book and ran until i got to my dorm. And then the same thing happened the next day except that you followed me.

Remember how often you followed me back to my dorm until i finally agreed to talk to you and i pretended to not remember you.

It seems like a sick joke now.

Remember Christmas at your parents' Apartment and i remembered that i was smart but you were so much smarter for going to Boston. And remember the little box and the big ring and remember that i said no and you pretended not to care.

I don't remember what happened next except that i was crying and it was raining a big hurricane type storm like tonight. i know that you were driving and that you screamed and then i don't remember anything except that it was sunny when the doctor told me you died.

I don't remember what i ate for breakfast two hours ago, and i can't remember why i moved back to Ohio after Christmas all those years ago. But I've never forgotten for a second to be so awfully sad.

When it rains i see you when we where in grade school, smart and popular and beautiful. And when you were sixteen and smarter and cooler and more beautiful. And then when you were mine, and perfect. And I'm sorry that I can't remember why I love you or the places in between. I'm sorry that every other day of my life I only know that there is a reason be sad, both terrible and so beautiful. My terrible lovely.



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WhenItRains21This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 6 at 11:20 pm:
Wow. Beautiful. I'm seriously nearly in tears. This is gorgeous. The emotion is shines through perfectly. By about the halfway point, I was so into the story I didn't even notice the "i' anymore.  I especially love the end. Those last three words. Wonderful job.
 
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FizzyL25 said...
Jan. 26 at 11:27 am:
I loved it, the emotions come through great.  It's a great read! Like it's already been said, the i's kind of bothered me, but that's all.
 
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E.J.MathewsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 15 at 9:26 am:
Wow! That was amazing. It was beautiful, sad, and perfect! You did an outstanding job!
 
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marchbutterflyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 13 at 2:17 pm:
This was very very well written filled with lots of emotion. It was easy to empathize with the narrator. I also thought the whole bitter sweet tone was fitting. The only criticism I have is that there were a couple of grammatical errors but not anything too bad. 
 
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KenyaLove41This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12 at 4:53 pm:
I loved the overall emotion of the peice and the way you compare everything to the rain. I suggest that you maybe add a little bit more back ground information and expand the story more but other than that every thing was fine.(:
 
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BeccyFxxThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 12 at 8:11 am:
Your writing is so powerful and emotional. I thought it was great but got a little bit confuzed in the third last paragraph. I loved the way it was written. Keep writing!! :)
 
Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 14 at 3:58 pm :
thanks so much! I didn't realize that paragraph was muddy, but now you mention it I know what you mean, oops!
 
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Battle-ColorsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 10 at 6:25 pm:
Good job, Guardian covered what I noticed the lower case 'i's.  But other than that good job!!!
 
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Claudia.VIIThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 10 at 6:23 pm:
The piece is brief, but it gets to the point, and I like that. The plot gets somewhat muddled in the middle due to the narrator's sort of choppy sentences, but that could just be this story's charm. Anyways, great job and keep up the good work. :)
 
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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 9 at 1:34 pm:
This was good! The only complaint I have is the lower case 'i's but other than that it was a good read!!
 
Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 9 at 5:51 pm :
thanks a lot!
 
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In_Love_with_WritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 9 at 10:19 am:
Very gorgeous! It was very sweet :)
 
Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 9 at 5:52 pm :
Thank you, glad you like it!
 
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AthenaMarisaDeterminedbyFateThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 8 at 7:11 pm:
This really captures wonderful emotion! I only would say to capitalize your "i"s in the piece so that it sounds more authentic, but your writing is beautiful!
 
Apollo77This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 9 at 5:50 pm :
I know about the "i"s, the autamatic caps on my computer got turned off...probably should have gone back and checked that! Thanks alot though!
 
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