Sun Goes Down - Part 1

December 1, 2012
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It was a dark night: ironic that it reflected my mood. I had walked about miles to see him, to have my questions answered. I guessed he’d be leaving now and part of me still wanted to say good bye. Even now when everything had changed. The sun had shone so bright today; again ironic. I had been wearing a vest top and sun cream, it seemed impossible now. Even at the party tonight it had been warm but that was then. I had left the party at 12 ish with the last of the day’s heat swiftly evaporating and now, in this ridiculous outfit, I was frozen. Going to see him on a cold, dark night, great idea! But I had to see no matter how dangerous it might be…. I needed answers. I needed to talk to him, even if talking might confirm my worst fears.

With another step he was in front of me. He blurred into my vision, too fast, impossibly fast. Seeing him brought tears to my eyes, they stung as the burned down my cheeks, why was I crying?! He spoke to me but he seemed so far away. I caught fragments: “Hayé please let me explain” “I wasn’t going to hurt her” “I didn’t mean to hurt her!” “I lost control for a second” In my head they floated around not making any sense, just words with no meaning behind them. I was in shock. I was wrong to think I could deal with this. I looked up into his eyes, hoping to see the comforting sky blue I had grown used to but instead I saw a devilish red. He took one of my fisted hands and held it tight with both of his. He might have thought it was comforting but now I couldn’t escape. Why was I thinking of escaping? I forgot how to think as panic took over.

“Please let me go,” I whispered.
He grabbed my arms making sure I couldn’t leave. He stared at me, capturing my gaze, making me look into his eyes, “Hayé let me make you understand. I’ll explain everything” He begged but I couldn’t listen.
“Please just let me go. Please,” I didn’t know what I was asking for. I was the one that had come all the way out here to see him wasn’t I? He didn’t respond. Did he even hear me?
“Hayé…” That was all he had to say? Why couldn’t he answer the questions I was too scared to ask? He ran his hands up and down my arms, gently like I might break. His hands were cool like clothes in the morning. Why had I never noticed how cold they were before? His eyes flickered to my neck, still that blood red, and then they quickly looked away. Was he fighting the monster for me? Why hadn’t he killed me already? I had found out his secret, why he was so different. Shouldn’t there be rules for that? Why was I thinking like this?! Nothing made sense! I had to see his eyes again, to see if he was telling the truth when he spoke. I placed my hands on his jaw and turned his face towards me, he didn’t resist. His eyes were back to the perfect blue I remembered. I wonder how he sees me. A bag of blood? No I had to mean more than that, all those evenings together? Nights in front of the TV? That day at the park? I had to be more than… than lunch.
He slid his hands onto my back; he had something wild in his eye. My heart beat sped up and I didn’t know if it was because I was scared or not…. One of his hands slid onto my jaw, turning it to the exact position for a kiss. He looked down at me, asking for my permission. I was so scared what else could I do but give it? He slowly brought his lips down upon mine. I tensed for a moment then gave in. He was so beautiful… and so safe. Why did I feel safe in his arms? I stood on my tip toes to reach his mouth so he didn’t have to bend over. He looked so handsome with his eyes closed like now but I was scarred of what I would see when he opened them. I could sense he was a monster, it was like the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, they always had before but I just had ignored then! How could I have over looked such an obvious feeling? Maybe I was the only one? Megan had said she didn’t like to be left alone with him.
I pushed my self against him, looking for comfort I would never get, and I kissed him deeper from the pit of my soul. His canine teeth felt pointed and lengthened against my tongue. He pulled away, steading his breathing. He opened his eyes. They flashed red then faded to blue. He looked at me, studying me, like he wanted to memorise every detail of my face “I love you,” he whispered, he didn’t sound like my Seth; his voice was too deep and powerful. He was still there though, in the foreign accent, the length of the words and somewhere in the tone. The answering words spilled from my lips; “I love you too”. He released me from his grasp and gave me a crooked grin. His teeth looked normal so did his eyes but now my instincts were telling me one thing: run, so I did.

My feet pelted the ground and it was only a few short seconds before I entered the forest. I ran, not because I was scared but because it was the only thing to do. What was I saying I was terrified! It was so strange…. When I was in his arms I could tell the monster apart from Seth and I could remain calm but the second I listened to my instincts all I could see was a beast. I feared him following me, what would he do when he found me? He wasn’t my old fashioned, gentleman boyfriend anymore; I could see him in a whole new light: moonlight.
I ran off the path I was on and deeper into the darkest part of the forest. Every shadow I saw was him, every animal, and every movement. My imagination ran wild, playing its tricks far faster than I could out run them but still I tried. In my escape from them I splashed through streams and fell down ditches. My black mini dress ripped and I lost one of my little grey pumps. My grey scarf caught on trees until it tore in rags from my neck. I was covered in nettle stings and even my short hair had twigs in it but still I kept running.

I stumbled to a halt in a clearing then I bent over gasping for my breath. When I eventually looked up he was there, leaning casually against a tree with my missing pump hanging from his finger, and he wasn’t even out of breath. He looked so….so determined, as if he had come to some kind of conclusion. I wondered – at the back of my mind - how this how this conclusion would concern me He smiled my crooked grin and took a step towards me. He was looking at me oddly, waiting for something. I blinked and then he was standing in front of me, in the space of a millisecond. I looked past him to the other side of the clearing where he had been standing; it was a good few meters away. I wondered vaguely how he had moved that fast and was about to ask him when he crouched down at my feet and slid my pump back onto my foot. When he stood up I was caught breathless, how could he possibly be a monster? He was just too good, kind, helpful, gentle, caring …. Need I go on? He smiled at me again, hot as hell, I registered somewhere at the back of my head that he had changed out of his party clothes, funny, at this stage I didn’t think something so insignificant would catch my attention.

“Hayé.” My name was said like a statement; he sounded and looked more determined than ever. “I’m sick of lying to you. I’ll tell you the whole truth, nothing but the truth down to the very last bloody detail. Listen to me. I’m not supposed to feel this way, I didn’t think creatures like could feel this way.” Where was he going with this?
“I don’t understand!” I wanted to scream at him, yell at him spit at him just to make him realise what I was going through. This morning I had been a normal teenager then, because of his actions, I had been thrust into a world I didn’t realise existed! He murmured words into my ear; “I can’t explain how you make me feel but I want you to know, know me completely with no secrets” What was that supposed to mean? I tried to say something, anything, but it came out as a soft breath between my lips. “Hayé, I can’t explain. I have to show you, just ….just let me okay? Don’t fight me, please; I don’t know what I’d do …. How much control I have left.” God, he was scaring me now. I was so confused! His ice cold hands griped my face, his hands seemed unsure of what they were doing, his feverishly red eyes were uncertain too until his face unnaturally pale face turned towards me. His tight grip meant I couldn’t move as he stopped my breath with quite simply the best kiss I had ever had. It was only seconds later that tonight events finally hit me, I fainted.
My dreams were filled with Seth, every single weird thing he had ever done flashed into my head, morphed into vicious acts. My slumber was restless. Finally after the last vivid nightmare had run its course I dreamed of candles and fires burning, their shapes filling my sub consciousness with a warm glow.

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