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For You I'll Always Wait...
For You I’ll Always Wait…
I have lived in an unhappy marriage for 5 years so far. In this year of ____ we do something called an arranged marriage. My parents decided who I was to marry when I was 12. My husband however is 28. I am not 17 with 2 beautiful boys. My husband Antonio is now 33. We have lived in only one house since we got married. Though we moved to Texas after Antonio got a better paying job. Which meant a better home and maids if we are lucky. We traveled on a plane, it was my 1st time, it was…freeing. I felt amazing being above the white moist clouds. When we finally landed on land I knew we needed to go shopping. I brought the boys with me so they could explore. I stopped at the closet farmers market. I got the things I needed to make dinner and a couple of things for the boys. As I stood in line to wait for the cashier, I noticed his dark brown eyes. He also looked around my age. I’d hate to say it but he was…Cute? He was making my hands kind off sweaty. I never felt that way before. As the line started to move, I placed the package of white rice in his hands. When our hands touched our eyes met. I wanted to pull away but I couldn’t, until James tugged on my skirt. I pushed his hand away and pressed down my skirt nervously.
“These your boys?” he asked with a hard Texas accent.
“Yeah, this is Jordon and James. Say HI boys!” I reply.
“Hi” they replied in unison, while they continued exploring.
“Um yeah we just moved her from Georgia.” I said nervously.
“Well, Welcome to Texas! I’m Jesse by the way” he spoke.
“I’m Claire,” I responded as I headed out the door with our groceries. Oddly enough a huge smile remained on my face the whole day.
The days past and I went to the store more and more, for stupid reasons. Like getting tissue when there was already a pack left. Each day he was there he would so a cute side small to me and he’d ask about the boys.
One day while the boys and Antonio were sleeping. I went to the store again. Though for a good reason this time, I had a cough. I made it to the store just before they closed. The cute bagboy was closing the store tonight. As I handed him the medicine a conversation started.
“You’re sick, huh? That’s weird because we don’t get a lot of sick people here.”
“Oh, I think it’s the weather change from Georgia to here, it’s way hotter here.” I answered trying to hold back a cough, but having to let it out.
“Come on. I’ll get you some water, you can take your medicine here.” He spoke so kindly.
“Thanks!” As I slipped the medicine down my throat and gulped. I quickly began to feel better. Though I forgot medicine makes you drowsy.
I ended up staying at the store pass closing time, and we just talked. He told me about his families’ old ranch not too far away. Apparently they have an endless supply of pigs. I told him about my family back home and our old house.
I quickly realized how late it was and knew it was time for me to go.
“I think I should head out!” I conversed as I got up and started forward the door. He got up and grabbed my wrist.
He whispered in my ear, “Please don’t go!” His cool breathe to linger on my right ear. We remained like that in a daze. A car passes by snapping me out of it. I started packing up my things and opened the door, while he remained in the same spot. As one of my left foot stepped outside, I quickly ran back to kiss him. He quickly responded by pressing his lips against mine. Not wanting to pull away I knew I had to before anyone woke up.
He whispered in my ear again, but this time he said “Meet me in alley between this store and the flower shop tomorrow at noon.”
“Ok,” I whispered back and I ran out the door. When I got home the house was still and quiet. The maids have gone home already and the boys and Antonio remained asleep. I slipped back into bed with Antonio without waking him up.
Even though I stayed up half the night, I woke up bright and early. I woke up the boys so they could get ready for school. I ironed Antonio’s work clothes for him to where when he wakes up. I made the boys breakfast, and gave them their lunch. I walked them to school, and when I got back Antonio had left. I began to get ready myself. I pulled my hair back in a curly ponytail. I ironed and put on a nice skirt. Unaware of where we were going. I slipped on my shoes and looked at the clock. 9:30 am it read. I still had hours to go before I was supposed to meet him. To make sure not to get my clothes dirty I slipped back on my house dress. I cleaned around a little to pass the time. I dusted and swept everywhere twice. I grabbed my diary and started writing in it. I washed some clothes because I knew that takes forever. Next time I looked at the c*** it was 11:30. I did the routine again. I pulled my hair back in a curly ponytail. I put on my nice skirt. Then I headed down to the alley where we were set to meet.
When I got there he was already there getting in his car. I ran up on him and scared him just as he sat in the car.
“So where are we going?” I asked.
“It’s a surprise!” he responded back. When I got in the car he zoomed off. While my hair trailed shortly behind us in the wind.
Everything we passed on the ride was new to me because I haven’t been in Texas long or let alone traveled in Texas. Everything was so green and country. Oddly enough I liked it. I didn’t think I was the Texas type till now. As he drove we passed by farms and farmers markets with nice colorful fruits and vegetables.
“What?” I say when I catch him looking at me.
“Nothing.” He laughed to himself.
“Really?” I reply with a pouty face.
“Nothing, your just, you’re really beautiful.” He said putting his head down.
“Thanks!” I tell him covering my blushing checks.
We pulled into a long driveway with a white picket fence. I could see a little red barn in the back.
“This is your family’s farm!” I knew right away.
“Yes” he says with a smile on his face. “I want to apologize in advance for my family though. They are noisy and don’t know when to stop. “
“It’s ok.” When we walked in I could smell that they were making lunch. The kitchen was full and everyone was moving no one was still, until they saw me with him. They rushed over to us. Talking all at once and shoving my hands with food to eat. He forced them off and we brought our food to eat outside on the porch.
“Ha-ha you were right your families…a handful.”
“Ha-ha yeah sorry about that. Hey after you’re done eating, do you want to go horseback riding, on my two favorite horses?” He said with a huge smile on his face.
“That sounds great, really. But…”
“But you have to go…” he finished incorrectly.
“No. What I was going to say is I’ve never ridden a horse before.”
“Oh!” he sighs with relief. “I’ll help you,” he continues.
I was so stuffed with food that it was hard to get up, though I had too. I needed to go to the bathroom and thank the family for the food. He went to get the horses ready for my horseback riding lesson.
As I walked on the hilly grass heading for the barn, I stopped myself. Jesse was brushing the horses hair. I don’t know why but he’s never looked sweeter. He was talking sincerely to the horse as if it could talk back. I heard a glimpse of what he was saying to it and I was very pleased.
“Don’t mess this up for me, I really like her,” he had whispered to the horse.
I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks as I continued walking toward him. He smiled when he saw me.
“You ready?” he had asked.
“Yeah, I guess!” I said.
“Ok, so it’s simple. If you come over I’ll boost you up on Yo-Yo!” He whispered the name.
“Yo-Yo?” I said laughing.
“What? I named him when I was little and I really liked Yo-Yo’s?”
“Ok?” I replied still laughing to myself.
He boosted me up just as he said he would on Yo-Yo. It was not as scary as I thought until he started to move. Jesse got on his horse and we went off into the woods. We started off slow, just what I needed. Then something scared Yo-Yo and he took off with me dragging behind. I yelled and called for Jesse. He quickly followed and got me bandaged up. He took out his first aid kit that he always brought with him while riding. He wiped the blood on my forehead, and silence began to build between us. There was something almost intimate about him wiping my forehead. While he was wiping the blood he leaned into me, our lips connected like puzzles pieces when they’ve found there match. I didn’t want to pull away and it felt like neither did he, so we didn’t.
When I got back from the trip the boys were already home and Antonio was home from work. He sat there waiting for me when I got home.
“Where have you been,” he’d asked me.
“Uh, I went to…the city with a girlfriend,” I said nervously.
He came up to me and slapped me. “Don’t lie to me. The whole town saw you and him leave together,”
I felt a cool tear drop from my face like a rain drop on a window seal.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“I don’t care for your apology. You should just know if I ever hear or see you with him again. I will not hesitate to kill him for you.”
My heart broke into a million pieces as the words sunk into my heart. “I’ll never see him again,” I say hesitantly. “Just please don’t kill him.”
Later that night I snuck out to Jesse’s house. I knocked on his door and he opened it.
“What are you doing here this late,” he’d ask.
“I’m sorry I need to come in to tell you.”
He put some tea on the kettle and gave me a nice warm blanket to keep me warm. “Thanks. Antonio found out about us. He threatens to kill you if I ever see you again.” I could see the shocked look on Jesse’s face.
“I don’t care. I want to spend my last breathe with you anyways.” He decided.
“Jesse I can’t,” I stopped.
“Yes you can please don’t,”
“I have to go, but I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” I gave him a kiss that I wanted to last forever but I knew it couldn’t. When I tried to pull away from the kiss he wouldn’t let me.
“I have to go,” I repeated. While he grabbed my hand
“I’ll always wait for you, I find anyone that could replace you. Don’t go” he repeated as my hand slipped from his. “Don’t go.” He whispered as I headed toward the door. “Don’t go,” he says when the door closes.
I threw my back on the back of his door. How could I do that I wondered? Tears rushed down my cheeks in a race to get to my mouth. I could hear Jesse sobbing through the door. It broke my heart.
When I got our mail that morning there was a piece of paper that said “For you I’ll Always Wait…” I knew exactly who it was from. My one and only love Jesse.