LOVE & BEAUTY
The steady tick ‘tock of the clock behind me runs in tune with the harsh sound of my fingers hitting the wooden desk. I sit in my seat, eyes locked on the white board behind the Professor, but not really focusing on anything that is actually being written on the board. My mind is racing, but I can’t comprehend any of the words coming from my fellow classmates or my Professor. The room does not strike my attention with its plain décor of plants and fresh paint. I want to get out.
The late hour has taken hold of my consciousness; my only thought is of how much I want to leave—I’m watching everything as if I’m a ghost. I can see the instructors’ lips moving, as if in slow motion, but no words are reaching my ears. I debate with myself as I turn my head toward the carpeted hub. The moonlight shines through the glass windows and onto the bookshelves— the only things that occupy the barren room.
I start to wonder why I decided to take the night course. This class is draining me, I can feel it in my bones, and I can see the night outside of these brightly lit four walls. I stick around a bit longer before I decide to leave. I stand up and no one notices, their attention focused on the professor. No one looks my way. I feel as if I’m revisiting a memory. I don’t care if I am unnoticed; my only wish is to leave. As though a sudden surge has begun to rush through every muscle and limb in my body, I suddenly have to get out; something has told me to follow it.
I exit the class; I can feel the cool metal of the door knob between my fingers as I push forward and enter the hub. Each step is a measured breath of relief that gets me closer and closer to what my body is telling me to follow.
I stop to take a breath, the darkness of the hub wraps around my body as I kneel down before the bookshelf. I take into account the only light is the one coming from the room I just left, behind me. Running my finger along the spine of each book, I pick one at random. I look it over, not really paying attention to it before I drop it and watch its shadow roll in the stream of moonlight.
I pick myself up, exiting the hub through the corridors. I take in my surroundings, the way the cold fall night’s wind chills my spine and leaves my fingers numb, before I stop at the men’s room. I enter it, facing the long mirrors behind the metal sinks. The bathroom had always reminded me of the ones you find at amusement parks, just a lot cleaner.
I go through my usual routine, unzip, piss, zip, walk to the sink, wash my hands, dry, and finally leave, done in 1 minute. One thing was off though. This time I stopped to look in the mirror for a few seconds before I was back in the corridor.
Suddenly I’m walking, my mind is not in control but my feet lead me, they seem to know where I’m going. I walk forward, closer and closer to the building in front of me. My feet drag me up what seems to be endless flights of stairs. As I climb higher the unsteady beating of my heart rings through my skull.
Finally, I’m here, standing in front of her dorm. It’s still cold out here in the hall, but I can see the light pouring from the crack under the door. I can hear the faint murmurs of sound emanating from inside the room, like the smell of hot coffee early in the morning, the smell that places the excitement in my belly just like the murmurs do. I know she’s in there.
I lift my key and place it into the lock turning it slowly before I open the door and peak in. I move inside and she is there. My feet carry me to the side of the queen sized bed. Her attention is focused on the TV on the only shelf next to the drawn curtains; only open a crack to reveal the lively city beneath the many floors of the building.
The warm and inviting blanket covers her body just beneath her breasts. Her red hair is down and messily strewn across her pale skin. I begin to peel off my shoes as I use my free hand to lift the blankets. I crawl in next to her, propped up on my elbow my free hand slides over her tummy. I reach up and touch her cheek when her face slowly turns toward me. I lower my lips to hers, and kiss her lightly, gently feeling her soft lips between mine.
I pull back and look down at her. We start to talk, my conversation with her goes on for forever, just how I want it. At certain points we laugh, at others I can see the seriousness behind her green eyes, the seriousness that soon turns to her sweet giggles in my brain. All the while the TV lies on and forgotten, just background noise now.
The conversation comes to an end when I see sleep start to get the better of her. Her eyes begin to close and it becomes harder for her to open them again. She whispers something before turning the TV off, filling the room with darkness. She moves onto her side, away from me, I lay on my side also. All I see in the darkness is her beautiful red hair running down her back.
Despite the distance, her body doesn’t reflect anger, so I inch her closer to me my hand still holding her by her tummy. I pull her closer to me until I feel her back against my chest, and I can smell her shampoo lifting from her hair and filling my nose. I can protect her underneath the warmth of the blankets.
My mind registers the view of the bed, me holding her and everything is starting to fade to black as I give in to sleep and let my eyes shut.
I fall asleep knowing that when I wake up I’ll open my eyes to the sight of her green eyes staring into my brown ones, as her red hair falls across her face in a tangled mess.
I’ll wake up to her, to her love and beauty.

Not the End…
….The Beginning.