The beating of the bass shook through the crowd. Its deep pounding vibrated though my body, the pulse of the dance. Hundreds of teenagers swirled around me, clinging to each other, wanting to feel the thrill of someone else’s hands on there body at the same time as being scared to death by the idea of so many strangers. Flashes of midriffs would occasionally flicker throughout the crowd, their pale flame smothered by a caressing hand or an embarrassed pull of a shirt. The high vibrating voice of the song mixed with the sounds of singing, laughing and whispers from the crowd. The lights are so low that the only thing I can see is the outlines of people made by the flickering colored lights way on the other side of the room. No one seems clear, not only are they strangers, but they have no face; there is no way to tell if they are your friend or someone you’ve never met. I travelled through the crowd dancing with friends, occasionally letting a stranger hold my waist for a song, but eventually I would move on. I stood in a circle of girls, they could have been best friends or people I hardly knew, it didn’t matter because we were here to dance. I let the music fill me, I let it spill over the rim of my soul and spill into my feet, my legs and my body. The harsh yet soulful sounds of the music controlled me. I ran my hands through my hair and smiled. I love the feeling of letting go, leaving the serious, focused, intellectual me behind and stepping into someone else’s shoes. Here in the dark I could be that girl that I rarely was, the one who can dance he heart away and enjoy the eyes on her. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a tall boy in a white shirt, but I continued to dance a smile of exhalation spreading over my face. I felt a hand, bigger than my own, slide into mine. I let him pull me across his hips. I realized that this was white shirt boy. “Dance with me?” he said into my ear. I didn’t answer I only let his hands slide over my hips and I matched my dance with his. He didn’t let go of my hands instead he let me guide his hand on my own hips. Somehow this made me feel safe. His hands never wandered, instead we both channeled the sounds and beat of the music. Songs passed rapidly, our bodies somehow seemed to have molded into one. We exchanged brief conversation; we talked about where we were from, our names, our respective schools and various things we had in common. Our words were often drowned in the loud music. “Do you know any other dances?” His voice was deep but soft at the same time. He spun me around so that I was facing him. Our legs were layer together, his hip bone gently nudging the soft spot right inside of mine as we danced to the beat of the music. I felt my cheek rub against his neck. The smell of Abercrombie cologne filled my nose, it mingled with another smell, almost like the smell of the outside, which must have been the natural scent of his skin. As we shifted slightly to go with the music I felt my lips graze the soft muscle of White Shirt Boy’s neck. I felt him inhale slowly. As the beat of the music quickened I felt my pulse race, our hearts seemed to be beating together, our bodies singing along with the music. My long hair was flowing down my shoulders; I could feel it in between our bodies. White Shirt Boy’s hands danced up my sides and shoulders, he ran his fingers through the dark tresses of my hair, gently pulling it behind my head. His hand lingered on the side of my face. Suddenly the very small amount of space that had existed between our faces was gone. That sweet moment of hesitation hung in the air, our noses gently collided but our lips stayed apart for a fraction of a second. Then his lips were on mine. I felt the kiss deepen and suddenly the music was no longer in our bodies it was now in our lips. He leaned down and I stood on my toes, our bodies pressed together. I felt his mouth cling gently to my upper lip. Suddenly my brain was filled with thousands of thoughts. What was I thinking? I have known this boy for approximately one hour of my life! I had never been this girl. White Shirt Boy must have sensed what I was thinking and we pulled apart. Although our lips were no longer touching the tension between us remained. “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. I smiled, “What color are your eyes?” I gently turn his head down, looking into his confused gaze. “Green,” he replies. He was right. The song ended and for a moment we stood there, in the middle of hundreds of people, staring into each other’s eyes. The next song sounded through the room, the deep bass and high vocal swirling away into the dark pulling everyone into its passionate lull. White Shirt Boy’s hands, which rested on my waist, shifted me to the other side of his hips. Our bodies were once more in sync. I felt his hands slid lower on my hips, he threaded his fingers through my belt loops for a minute. He pulled me even closer so that our hip bones were now pressing hard against each other, it might have hurt, but it didn’t. The sides of our faces were touching. I slid my face to the side, my lips dancing over his jawbone. Some little voice in my brain told me to let go, be that girl that you’ve always envied! In the center of the dark, music filled dance the wild side of me took control. I slid my lips onto his. He seemed momentarily surprised but then reacted quickly and strongly. His hands slid onto the small of my back, he hitched my hips onto his and held me in close. My hand slid up his back, tracing his lean, hard muscles. We broke for a moment, only to nuzzle each other’s nose. I could feel him smile. I brought my hands from around his back and laid them flat against his chest. My shirt had some how ridden up and I realized that his hands held my bare back close. Our lips came together in the dark. I knitted my fingers into his hair; I cradled his neck as he leaned into me. His hands were gentle as they danced over my back. Here I was, in the middle of a pitch-black room, the music pounding around me. For a brief moment I was no longer the reserved schoolgirl, I was the dancer, the smiling teenage girl that was hidden inside. For that night I could be who every I wanted to be. The music, the heartbeats, swallowed me and I was gone.
In the Dark
October 15, 2012