September 20, 2012
I passed him in the hall today, he didn’t even glance me way. Not surprising, ever since we stopped talking, he’s been acting this way. Like he doesn’t see me. Doesn’t care. I watch him walk into his class room, without even looking back. I wish things could go back to how they used to be…but they never will. I messed things up. He’s got a girlfriend now. He’s forgotten all about me.


I passed her in the hallway today. She looked so pretty. I didn’t say hi, it would be weird after everything that’s happened. I wonder if she knows how often I think about her, how often I wish I hadn’t screwed up everything. All I ever think about is her. When I look as my girlfriend, all I see is her. I wish I could change things...

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kindlegirl said...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:50 pm
Okay first off I loved it!!! But on the other hand I want more. Im usually not like this but this story caught me I've been trying to right one like this, and I've learned that you have to have some back round. Please right a second part tell us about the new girlfriend, bring us to the home of the the guy, give me names. DETAIL..... PLEASE TRY I NEED MORE. This is such a great story, you could have a great and passiionate story here. Give a little foreplay, show a little anger between t... (more »)
cuckoo_for_cocoa_puffs This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2012 at 9:06 pm
DETAILS, TEENINKER!! but really it's a good base and I'm intrigued, so maybe you could write something along the lines of: We Still Like Each Other But It's a Simple Case of Bad Communication Part 2? Yes. Very much appreciated ;)
PAIGEExD said...
Sept. 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Really good! I liked the comparison and how the story switched. But you may want to add a little more detail and maybe some background as to what happened beforehand.
JuiceyGirl said...
Sept. 25, 2012 at 11:36 am
I liked how you showed both of their sides of the story. It's a cool idea and you did well with it. But I wish you would have elbaroted more on the situatuion they were in instead of just "He has a girlfriend, I'm sad." and "I have a girlfriend, but I wish she was my girlfriend."
EatSleepWrite95 replied...
Sept. 27, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the suggestions too.
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