Free at Last

June 30, 2012
There Penny sat gazing at the ring that he had given her. On that ring was the picture of a rose. And that rose had symbolized that he loved her and would never leave her. But she was sitting there, her eyes red from crying all night long. And where was he? No where in sight. He had left her for that woman he had met at the super market. Typical Josh, leaving me for some woman he barely knows. All he wants her for is her looks. But still she couldn’t help the jealousy. It swelled in her body, and bitterness rose to her throat. How badly she wanted to get revenge. Oh how bad. For all the names that he had called her, and all the time and effort she had put out for him. And not a thing was returned. Not an ounce of respect.

She was going to get revenge one way or another. Whether it be going out with all of his best friends, or something else. She got up off the floor and went over to the window gazing out.

And almost like an angel had been listening to her thoughts, there was Josh. Standing right outside her window looking as pitiful as Penny felt. Penny opened her door.

Her first words to him were harsher than she intended them to be. “What do you want Josh.”

Josh said nothing in return. He turned around as to walk down the few steps, but suddenly whipped back around to face her.

“ Penny, I made a huge mistake going with Lindsay.”

"So Lindsay is her name? Well I can tell you one thing Josh. You deserve her. You have come all the way up here for nothing. I’m leaving with myself respect and dignity. And what are you leaving with? A ring. And nothing else.”

And Penny threw the ring at Josh, aiming for his face, but hitting the spot where his heart was. And the ring broke into two. As if saying that the two were going down different roads. And for the first time since the night that Josh had left her, Penny felt free.

Penny ran inside, grabbed her keys, and left. She didn’t know where she was going. She drove out of the city, and kept going until she hit the county roads. It wasn’t until she’s been driving on these country roads for an hour that she realized what had made her run to her car as fast as she could. She had been worried that Josh would be waiting fort here.
As she thought, she realized he hadn’t been there. Penny knew she should miss him, but she didn’t. Or she didn’t think she did.
Driving back into the city, Penny went to visit the only person she knew would listen. Her dead grandmother. She sat at her grave for hours, talking and thinking until she had nothing to say, and had thought it all through. When she looked around her, she realized she’d been staring at nothing for hours as she thought, and now it was dark. Penny wasn’t ready to go home yet. What if Josh was there again, waiting for her? Penny knew that this was stupid and she needed to go home.
But when she got in her car, even as she thought this she found herself driving in the opposite direction she should have been. She got something to eat, then sat in Subway until the manager told her to leave because they were closed. She knew where she needed to go, and at this point, she wanted to go home.
As she drove, she thought about what she would do if Josh was there. She thought she’d felt free, but it turns out she wasn’t ready to go on without him. When she got there, she got out of the car and walked toward the door. After a quick glance around, she saw that he wasn’t there.
She ran inside, layed on her bed, and cried.

I was laying on my bed, in-between reality, and sleeping. I could see everything clearly. No judging or anger morphing my vision. I thought over what had happened between me and Josh. How many times I had, had the feeling that he was cheating on me. How many times I had overlooked it without asking any questions.

I thought about how I had reacted to the news of the new girl Josh had, had a one night stand with. I thought of the ring. I thought of everything that had happened since that first night I had met him. The way that my silky white dress had moved like a waterfall when I walked. How nice Josh had looked in his rented tuxedo. The first dance we had shared when everyone else had claimed partners.

I remember how his voice had sounded when he asked me to dance with him. It was soft and smooth. But it sounded embarrassed along with it. I looked up into his face. He had soft, baby blue eyes. But they could turn as cold as ice when needed to. His cheeks were slightly red. It was more of a baby doll pink, then the scorched tomato red that came when associated with embarrassment. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. His hands felt silky smooth. Yet in control. When we started to dance I caught a smell that was coming off of him. Like bitter sweet apples. The dance had ended but we stayed on the dance floor. At that time I thought that time itself had frozen. I thought that we would be together forever.

I finally drifted off into sleep dreaming about the Midnight Dance where we had met.

I woke up around 3:30 a.m. I looked into my vanity mirror and saw that my face had these pale streaks. Oh. I’ve been crying. My eyes proved the truth that I had been. My vibrant green eyes were tinted with red.
I sighed and got up to check the time. It was only 6:15 in the morning. I checked the calendar. Monday. And Monday meant collage. I grimaced. I had more than half my classes with Josh. And whether or not I wanted to see him, I was still trying to sort out.
I got up and went into the bathroom. My roommates were still all sleeping. They hated getting up, until the last possible second. I went into the bathroom to style my hair and get ready for school. My black hair that was usually straight as a bone was fluffed into this… this hair ball that would have made a lion jealous of his mane. I looked into the mirror and finally made my decision. I wasn’t ready to face Josh. Not yet.

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