The Meadow

July 6, 2012
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I looked in the mirror at my perfectly polished face and hair, when it hit me. “What the h*ll am I doing? Am I ready for this? So I really want to marry already?” I thought. The white wedding dress hung behind me, and just like that, I grabbed my keys, spied around the corner to make sure no one was still in the room, and I left. I drove the two hours back to where I had spent my childhood summers, back to where I know I’ll be able to think about him in private. Back to the place where I knew I loved him.

I pulled into my grandparent’s driveway, and ran. My beautiful hair caught on branches and my newly brushed on make-up was streaking down my face along with my tears. I pushed so hard, and then I stumbled into the clearing. The meadow looked unchanged, even since the first time I had been here, 11 years ago.

The flowers of blue and purple still grew beautifully. I couldn’t help but smile and think of all the good memories here, with him. I walked to the middle and laid down, to find myself drifting off into oblivion.

When I woke, or so thought I did, I was 15 again, in my lace summer dress, and Ander was at the edge of the woods, smiling at me. We ran strait towards each other, embarrassing each other in a long lingering kiss. I thought about how long it has been since I had last seen him alive. 9 years. That was too long.

He smiled at me with that same promising smile. He took my hands and looked strait into my eyes. “You know you can marry him. Kris is a good guy, and I bet you love him, just hopefully not as much as you loved me”, joke Ander.

“Oh how much I miss you. Everyday, I remember the day you left me! Don’t leave again Ander!”

“Edel, you know I have to. This dream world meeting will end soon, and you must go to Milwaukee and marry Kris. Trust me, I know he’ll take good care of you, but you have to let go sometime.”

“I know, but I hate the thought of never seeing you again?”

“Edelweiss, you see me everyday, when you think of all of our memories, you see me, alive and in love with me. We must part soon. You need to get back for your wedding. Say hello to my family for me. Oh Edel”, he grabbed both of my hands in his, and looking so strong and tough he looked at me strait in the eyes, and with the most feeling someone could ever say anything with, he spoke,” I love you, and I will forever.”

“I will love you till my dying day. I promise.” I looked as Ander let go of my hands and disappear into his side of the woods. I knew there was one last thing I had to tell him before my oblivion world came crashing down. “Ander! Wait!”

“I can’t for much longer!” spoke Ander in just a whisper at the edge of the woods.

“I just wanted to say… thank you!”

“I already knew that baby.” And just like the Ander was gone.

When I awoke, the meadow was 11 years older, and so was I. My wedding! I jumped up and ran toward my side of the woods, but before entering, I looked back and saw the meadow for one last time.

“Goodbye. Till my dying day.” I spoke in a weak whisper. Then I was off to my car. When I arrived, I checked the time, 3 hours till my wedding. Two hours to get back and an hour of prep time. I could do it!

When I arrived in Milwaukee, my mother greeted me franticly. I had an hour left to get ready, but to her, that wasn’t enough. I redid my hair and make-up, threw my dress on, and in half an hour I was ready. As the bridesmaids got in place, Anne looked at me, with tears in her eyes.

“He loved you so much Edel.” Said Anne, taking both my hands in hers.

“I know. And he says he loves you very much, also.”

Anne looked at me confused, but soon understood the thing only Ander and I could ever understand. “You went to the meadow, didn’t you?”

“Just to say goodbye.” I thought she might need some explanation why I left my wedding to go see the place where I spent my time with my deceased love. “I needed closure, that’s all Anne.”

“It’ll never be the end. Goodbye isn’t forever. Love is the only thing that last forever.”

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