July 3, 2012
By Gjilsime BRONZE, Staten Island, New York
Gjilsime BRONZE, Staten Island, New York
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

With the cool sand between her toes and the night only becoming darker, she turned her attention to the stars that had began to become more distinct in the navy blue sky. She analyzed all that had occurred in what seemed to be such a short period of time. Twirling a small portion of her long beautiful brown hair, she began to reflect on all that had been said and done throughout the past couple of weeks. As she began to feel foolish by the conversations that had exchanged between she and her love, she allowed the thin streak of hair to fall alongside her rosy cheek. Remembering how she had placed her hands behind her, she leaned back to better analyze the way the moon light reflected off of the dark blue water. That night had been the first that she began to focus on the small details that had been present at the moment. Now she sat at the same spot with little to feel blessed about. She, who had began as an analyzer of small things, realized that it was the carelessness that put her in the position she was in. She could only now take a step back and get a good view of all that had occurred in her life. As she took a deep breath, she looked to her left to find that he no longer sat beside her. Thinking back to that night, she remembered how he stared so softly into her eyes while confessing his love for her. As her heart began to beat faster and heavier, she realized that she had only hurt herself by being such a careless analyzer of the significant events that occurred throughout her relationship with him. "Don't do this to us!" She remembered how she had stressed "us" in the last thing she said to him. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she replayed the phrase in her head. She arose from her spot, whipping her tears away, and walked towards the shore. As she came closer to the shore, she felt a sort of alliance with the body of water that so quickly covered the top of her knees. After turning around to look back at the world that had once provided her with nothing but happiness, she quickly turned her back on it, walking further into the ocean. Feeling the pain of the lack of oxygen in her body, she forced her eyes opened to find that there had been an image of his hand reaching out to pull her out of the pain and agony of love. Quickly reaching for his hand, she would come to find herself at a funeral home. Looking around the alter, her eyes quickly became focused on two individuals who seemed to be her parents. Her mother had been weeping in the arms of her father. She quickly turned her focus over to the casket, slowly walking towards the body, fearing who it would be. Feeling the coolness of the skin, she realized it had been her dead body laying there. Quickly removing her hand from the body, she shut her eyes and reopened them, hoping to find that all this had been some sort of nightmare. As she opened her eyes, she could only see herself quickly turning her focus from him to her right where a light became only stronger and brighter as it came closer to her. She knew it would be the end of her relationship with him and life itself...

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This article has 1 comment.

on Jul. 14 2012 at 11:17 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments

This is very interesting except the ending is confusing. At first you say she broke up with her boyfriend and then drowns but then at the end you say that since she's dying, the relationship ends. That's confusing. Otherwise, it was amazing. Your words are smooth and your imagery is great. At first I thought her husband died and she was reminescing and then I realized that wasn't it. Keep writing.


If you can, please check out/comment my piece Chasing the Sun, thanks!


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