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Fathers And False Legacies

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Eyes that are lighter than air and the color of blue crystal remind me that for now I am safe. They are the only thing that can calm me from the most horrendous claws of life, reminding me of the man that was your father. You and he are very similar, both saviors, and hold my heart in your tender hands. Your hair is the color of coal, your smile is warm and welcoming, your arms are always open when I come running.






You do not know the things I hold deep within, you cannot see the mask I put on for everyone else nor can you take away the scars or mounds of hatred that cover my body. You were my knight in shining amour, ready to cast away anything that could hurt me, but where did you go when the pain hit? My king of security, you disappeared, slipping from my fingers when I needed you the most. Unknowingly you cast away my trust, demolished my confidence, stole my pride, and let them destroy my heart.



My brave knight, my king, why did you let me go? How could you leave me here to die? Could you not see the silent tears I cried or hear the dying screams from inside my soul? You said you couldn’t stand to see my heart broken so when you tore it from my chest and ripped it to shreds did you close your eyes? How could you break my heart and have the nerve to tell me you still loved me? Did my tears go unnoticed? Were you really that blind? You call me your baby girl, saying you would go to the ends of the earth for me, who knew that the end was so close? You say you care yet you abandon me, choosing your second family over me.



Still you proclaim your love, your care and your concern but the words mean little. They never reach your eyes, no, they merely hang, empty, in the air and still I am wrapped around your finger. You are the last link to the broken chain connecting me to the strongest man I ever knew. He was the man we let slip away, the man I watched waste away when no once seemed to care. Of course you were concerned, he was superman to us all, yet you never shed a tear the day he died. The day your “God” took him from us, refusing to heal him. I see him in everything you do, this is why I stay. That is why I proclaim my love to you, why my trust and faith in you are shaky, yet I beg for more.



I call you my father, you call me your daughter and life goes on, both of us believing the lies I feed to everyone. No one knows, not even you, my knight in tin foil. We live on in the shadows of the greatest man who ever lived; leaving a legacy that is not ours to leave.



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