Old Friends

June 25, 2012
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The wind blows the golden leaves around my feet, teasing and tossing them through the once warm autumn air. The sun peeks through the thick cloud bank, and kisses the earth I walk upon. It warms my bare feet and brushes my cheeks, like a long lost friend.

A silhouette appears in the distance. There is a man, broad shouldered, muscular and tall. He beckons me to come. My heart races, my mind tells me to stay, yet my feet move forward, without my conscious consent.

As I grow closer this tall dark stranger was a blast from my past. An old flame, he once was, who could bring a room from chaos to order. He could silence the chaos just by walking in. His eyes, the same shade of icy blue-green, are still vibrant and full or life, yet now have sorrow, hardship and regret buried deep within. He welcomes me with open arms and he smiles his sweet, genuine, slightly crooked smile that I once craved to see, but it now haunts my sleepless nights and rare dreams.

I hesitate, even think of turning back, I am sure that running away for the fear of him breaking my heart once more would be my best option. Once, more my feet do not listen to my mind, thus, they move forward and as they do so I saunter cautiously into his waiting embrace. His strong arms swallow me and dissolve all my fears, my hate, my pain. Here I feel like I will be forever warm and safe.

I feel the air grow piercingly cold; the birds are now silent as he whispers into my hair. I feel he does so half heartedly, yet I am naïve enough to believe all of his apologies, omens, promises and his “I love you’s” that soon follow. My head spins and I no longer know what to think. Hurt, ache, desire, distress, lament, bliss, and want consume the air around us.

He releases me, suddenly, into the chilly air, he slowly backs away. She, his old flame, waltzes out of the rapidly approaching darkness. While he smiles, she runs to him, and he sweeps her off her feet, twirling her in circles. All the while leaving me alone, the wind nips at me, causing even the deepest of parts of me to grow as cold as ice. Tears begin to line my face, after I watch him walk away, once more, with her, forever gone from my grasp. Reality finally sets in. I should have listened to my mind and not my longing desire. I stumble through the darkness, towards the great unknown, alone, with whatever is left of my shattered heart.





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