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How I Found Happiness

The buzzing sound of the fish tank was the only noise I heard as I laid in my bed. I stared at the ceiling. Whirlp. Plop. The bubbles reached the surface and burst. Tink. Tink. Tink. The crack on the side leaked. Just like the the crack on my heart. Tink. Tink. Tink. All the past joy leaked out. Tink. All the promises he'd made. Tink. All the security I had once felt with him.
Whirlp. Plop. A knot rose in my throat. The tears behind my eyes began to sting. I couldn't hold back anymore and just let them stream down my face. They gathered in a mini puddle on my pillow. I turned on my side. Staring at the fish in the tank I envied them.
Fish only have like a three second memory span right? So if a boy fish broke a girl fishes heart she'd forget it the very next moment. The memory of the event would leave along with the pain. So as her world comes crashing down, three seconds later it'd build itself back up.
Staring at the fish became impossible as the tears flooded my eyes. Making everything a blurry mess. I wiped them away and sat up. I tried to slow my breathing, but they continued to come out short and ragged. I put my head in my lap.
The phone's ring pierced through the air. I jerked up. It rang twice, before I even moved off the bed. What if was him? Riing. My heart raced. Riiinnngg. I cleared my throat and reached for the phone. Riiing. I picked it up and answered.
I hesitated before saying, "Hello?"
There was this icy feeling running down my spine as I waited for a reply. When one came my heart skipped a beat.
"Hey.. Andie?" it was him. I could tell by the roughness of his voice that he was worried.
"Yeah?" I asked. Was I quivering?

"I was... I just wanted to make sure you were okay.. I haven't heard from you, well no one has hear from you.. in like a week."

I shook my head. Great, now I was on every one's potential suicide list?

"Well you don't have to worry about me, I'm not your problem anymore." That came out fast and harsh. I had always been a short fuse.

"I can't help but worry, I know you too well."

I paused. Then after a few moments I took a deep breath and asked "Why do you even care?"

He sighed. "Because we've known each other so long, just because we're not together that doesn't mean I don't care about you.. I just don't want you to do anything stupid."

I laughed thickly and said "I already did. I believed you." I slammed the phone down.

There was a stillness in the air. Not even the fish seemed to swim anymore. I couldn't hear the noise of the tank. I couldn't hear anything over my heart thumping in my chest, like it was trying to burst out. The room started to spin. I feel back on my bed and let out all the frustration by screaming. You know that never helps? My mind was still fuzzy. My eyes still pouring down. And my heart still ached. I wanted comfort. I wanted that security he'd once given me. That love I thought we had. But he couldn't give it to me. As that went through my mind I hugged myself. I didn't want to hear what was racing through my mind. But no one ever wants to hear the truth. I glanced across the room at the tank again. Behind the tank there was a mirror.
At first I flinched at my reflection. I looked like a deranged hobo. Wearing my sweats and his hoodie. My mess of hair falling over my hunched shoulders. With my arms wrapped around myself like that I looked as if I was in a straight jacket. I stood up to get a closer look. My blue eyes ringed with smeared eye make up. I wiped that away. My lips scarred with bite marks. I laughed for being such a fool. I pulled my hair out of my face to see the only thing that could get me outta the rut I was in. Myself.



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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Mariah21 said...
Jun. 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm
how many times have i been there...... lots... sucks like heck
 
Kateloveshim13 said...
Jun. 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm
I love the way you put fish into the story! ;) You are a great writer!
 
beccaclara99 said...
Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:50 pm
That's so pretty... you are an amazing writer
 
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