Spiteful Scrutiny

May 21, 2012
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My brain pummels against my skull at the sight of their intertwined fingers. My mouth feels as if cotton balls have soaked all remaining saliva up. Swallowing is nearly impossible. Every time I look at the two of them, a high-pitched wail shoots through my ears and sends an electric shock down my spine. The jealousy takes over my body and I cannot control my thoughts. I think of the countless ways I would torture this girl just as she has tortured me. I dream of shoving jalapeño peppers through her eyes and watching them corrode. I am so jealous my skin boils not of the color red, but dark, forest green.
My jealousy is your girlfriend’s cat that claws your face until your gums are evenly spread across the floor. It’s not the rain on your picnic; it’s the tornado. It will pick you up and crack you on the ground like a whip to the naughty child’s back. It will chew you up like a Venus Fly Trap and spit you out like trash. My mind is so full of jealousy that my skull feels like it’s going to burst into pieces. I dream of rubbing her face across the jagged shards.
Thinking of the two of them feels like running through a mile of thorn bushes and drenching the wounds with alcohol. My bones tremble so hard I’m scared my joints will dislocate. The jealousy sends waves of utter pain throughout my veins; I enjoy it. My tendons ache with vigilance as my iris’ morph to an evil green. I am the Hulk in the peek of his anger. I am past the point of turning around. This jealousy has taken over my limbs. I am paralyzed.

As I gawk at this heinous being I once loved, I am overwhelmed by the envy that has vetoed that lust. My fondness has faded to black.

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