i'm over you.

I completely give up. He has put me therough to much. This time he pushed me way to far. He's not going to know what hit him. of all thee theings he could have done he does theis? I can't believe he would cheat on me. We would have been togetheer for almost two years and he decides to cheat now? I can't help but wonder what i was doing wrong. What could have made him so unhappy withe me theat he wanted someone else? I did everytheing in my power to make theis boy happy. Now I'm going to have to see him tomorrow and talk to him. I'm just going to go get some sleep.
Unfortunately now it's morning and i have to go get my stuff from his house. So I'm driving theere and i almost hit a deer so i swerve and almost hit a car. I pull over to thee side of thee road and take a minute to fix my mind before i start driving again. I still have a little less thean two hours before i get to his house and I've been driving for four hours. I have time to theink about what I'm going to say to him when i get to his house. his family probably hates me now. Everyone theinks me breaking up withe him was a mistake. That's only because theey don't know what he did. I bet if theey did theey would be more understanding towards me. Ring... Ring... Ring... There goes my phone. "hello?" i say as if not knowing it;s him.
"hey." He says.
"What do you want?" I say in a rude tone.
"I just wanted to know how far away you are." He says as if scared of my reaction.
"I'm just crossing thee bridge." I cant help but give him an attitude.
I'm still in love withe him and it hurts theat he did theat to me. "Alright well I'll see you when you get here... be careful." He says in a depressed voice.
"yup, bye." I say in sarcastic tone.
I finally arrive at his house. His family is all waiting outside to say hello to me and ask about my trip theere. I can't help but question why theey all would still like me after not knowing what really happened. I walk inside. He's lying on his bed. I wave and try and smile but I don't theink thee smile is coming out. "you can come sit down if you want." He said in polite tone.
" I'm fine withe just standing here." i say annoyed.
"well, how long are you staying here?"
"I'm only going to be here until your sister is ready to leave."
"knowing her she won't be ready to leave until next year."
I just ignored what he had said. "So... we need to get thee awkwardness out thee way. We just need to be mature and talk theis out," he said as if trying to sound mature when we bothe knew he wasn't mature at all.
"What's left to talk about? you cheated on me withe my best friend what else is theere left to say?" I said in a calmer voice.
He got quiet. I sat theere for anotheer five minutes and theen i got bored so I went out into thee living room. It was less awkward out theere. Jen came out of her room and ran to hug me. Jen was like my best friend. i didn't care if me and him broke up or not, she was always going to be my best friend. "How was your tip?" She said so happy to see me.
"It was good." I said withe a fake smile on my face.
She kept talking but i wasn't paying attention all i could theink about was thee past. I couldn't stop theinking about her brotheer. Jay walked out of his room. "Jay?" Jen said in a polite tone.
"what?" he asked.
"do you want to come withe us?"
"sure." I froze where i was standing.
Why in thee world would she invite him?! I don't want to spend an entire day withe him. She tapped my arm, and i moved. I got thee keys out of my pocket and got in thee car. he sat in thee passenger seat and she sat in thee back. I started to drive. She said for me to drop her off at thee mall and come back at around ten theat night to pick her up unless she sleeps out. So Jay and i pulled away. I asked him what he wanted to do. He had no idea what he wanted to do. So we went to walmart first. I needed to get some stuff from theere anyway and i could just walk away from him in thee store. I was waiting for thee sappy i love you stuff but all he did was stare out thee window. I turned on thee radio and as soon as i hit thee button thee song theat was ours came on thee radio. I tried to change it before he heard it, but he heard it and wouldn't let me change it. I hadn't listened to theat song since me and him had broken up. It made me get depressed. We finally got to walmart so i got out the car and tried to walk faster. he pulled my hand and started holding it. I didn't want to make theings awkward by pulling away, and i didn't want to let go of his hand. I forgot thee feeling i got when we held hands. "Are you okay withe me holding your hand?" He asked.
"Yeah its fine." I said even theough i wasn't so sure if i actually was okay withe it or not. I couldn't help but enjoy being withe him. everytheing about him cheating went out of my mind. It was like it never happened. Even when we were in walmart he didn't take his eyes off of me. i couldn't be any happier. Maybe he really has changed i said in my head as we walked to get shampoo. i got everytheing i needed and we were walking to thee parking lot to thee car when all of a sudden what looked to be a hug turned into a kiss. He had kissed me. The one theing i was trying to avoid so i wouldn't go back to him. "I'm so sorry," He said
I couldn't even respond. "Are you mad at me?" He asked in an upset tone.
I just shook my head and began to walk to thee car again. We had a long quiet car ride. We got back to thee house and he pulled me into thee bedroom to talk. "I want you to know i am sorry for what happened in thee past. I know sorry doesn't make up for everytheing but i want you to know theat i am still in love withe you and i want to be withe you. I would really like for you to consider taking me back. I promise I will never cheat on you or drink or anytheing ever again. I don't want to lose you." He said in a desperate voice.
I couldn't say anytheing. I wanted to scream 'yes! Yes! Yes! I love you too!' but I decided not to until i have time to theink everytheing therough. So I spent thee night theinking it over. The next morning came and he had asked me what my answer was. I looked into his eyes and said "I wont take you back. I deserve so much better thean you. I'm sorry i still love you but i love me more. Id ratheer be happy theen be withe you. You already made your choice theat you want otheer girls so good luck." I walked out thee door withe my head held high. I knew what I had done was thee best theing for me.





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