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Mark held my hand tightly, his face seemed so sad. The cold air wrapped around us, teasing the ends of my scarf and tickling my cheeks.
“Come on, let’s go inside,” I gently tugged on his hand, trying to lead him into the café, into the warmth and the delicious smells that filled the air, beckoning customers inside. He just shook his head, dark brown curls falling into his eyes. He really need to get it cut, maybe we could go tomorrow. No matter how much I tugged he seemed intent on staying out in the cold, his feet rooted to the spot.
“Please, I’ll give you a kiss if we go in,” I stepped closer to him, so we stood toe to toe. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. I sighed, leaning into him, smelling his scent. He smelled of grass and cookies, with the lingering scent of sweat that was always faintly there.
“We can’t,” his breath hitched. His heart beat was fast, his breath coming in short gasps.
I tried to pull away from him, but he held me trapped against his chest. “We can’t kiss? Or we can’t go in to get hot chocolate. If you want, we can go back to my place. We can go to the park and wait for the snow,”
Even as I talked he was shaking his head. “We can’t,” He shuddered, and the spot where his head lay on my shoulder was starting to become wet. I struggled against his shoulder. Trying to break free, but he simply held me tighter crushing me into him. “I think,” he took a shuddering breath, and let me go backing away slowly.
And then words poured out of him like a flood. He didn’t look at me but at the lone car making its way down the quiet street. A burst of noise could be heard from the café when someone left hurrying in the other direction. I felt vaguely scared, and completely unsettled. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I think that we should break up. I don’t feel like we can work anymore. I’m sorry Sparrow. I’m so sorry,”
He shook his head. He stood out of reach, tears dripping on his face. I wondered idly if the tears would freeze on his face. I wondered why he was crying. These thoughts buzzed around but his words held me captive. I couldn’t feel my hands. I hadn’t worn gloves because I wanted the warmth of our hands intertwined. “I’m cold can we go inside now?”
His face froze, like he couldn’t understand what I was saying. For the first time this night he looked me in the face. Whatever he saw seemed to scare him. “I called Eric to pick you up. I wanted to tell you earlier. Really. I just couldn’t seem to…”
The moon looked so pretty at night. The stars were shining and it began to snow. I spun around where I stood, laughing as it fell. It was the first snow of the year. Clear crystals slowly made their way to the ground. I laughed as I spun. It fit so perfectly, that tonight it snowed. He watched me, sorrow on his face. He didn’t try to stop me just watched until a cab pulled up and was gently led inside. I held my hand out; the snowflakes settled on my hand but didn’t melt.
“Get her home but don’t leave her alone. Please,” He tried to get me to look at him, but the snow held my attention. He pulled Eric to the side and whispered into his ear. But he sucked at whispering. “Call Kristi, have her stay the night. I shouldn’t have done this but what..?”
“You did the right thing,” Eric tapped him on the shoulder and climbed into the cab. He hugged me, but said nothing. I still watched the snow. As the cab rolled away, I glanced back, and there he stood, crying on the sidewalk. And then as I blinked, he was gone, with nothing left in his place. I watched the snow lazily clinging to the cab, trying freezing it and utterly failing. I was going numb and I didn’t care.
God, I hate the snow.