Black Waters

February 20, 2012
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(Life is only for those who choice  it)

  We were at the beach. The beach were it all went down hill. The beach where my family was taken away from me forever. I can never see them again, only if I wasn't living anymore. I watched the blue waves come in to touch my bare feet as if to say good-bye. I was going to do it. I was going to die. The sun was ten minutes away from sun set, leaving the sky a beautiful orange, mom's favorite color. I gripped the gun in my hand, with exactly one bullet in it to kill me, and pointed it to my chest. I would have pointed to my head, but that's the one thing I wanted to stay the same. My brain. All my memories and thoughts of them were up there and not going any where. I wanted to die with them.  I heard my three best guy friends laughing behind me. Justin, Chaz, and Ryan thought it would help to get out of town for a little while to get me out of my depressive cloud. But only if they knew this place is what cause my depressive cloud. They knew something was wrong on the way up here, but I said it was nothing when it was everything.
"May!," screamed the voice of angel named Justin, my soon to be ex-boyfriend. 
"I'm not afraid of death.  It's the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life… And I lost," I whisper to myself  to saygood-bye to the world I was once happy in.
And with that, I pulled the cringer. 
The darkest took over me. I was  drowning in a sea, but I wasn't in any form of water. I was dying, slowly and painfully. I got deeper, and deeper down in the black sea. The water poured into my throat, but because I stupidly tried to scream for help. The help that was never going to come. The icy blackness burned in the back of my throat telling me to just give into it. I wanted to give in, just to make it stop. 
'Give in, May'
A icy venom filled voice command me.
I should. I was dying in my mind. And no one will ever know what happen. The black water took over me, every part of me filled with it. I throw my body upward trying to get to the top. It didn't work very well, I stayed in the same spot, the spot I was going to die in. I closed my eyes as the black water was starting to burn my once baby blue eyes. My head was spinning, I couldn't tell which way was up or down. But did it matter? As long as the pain stopped I could die upside down for all i cared. Death wasn't supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be calm and white light. But there was no light here, only darkness to take me away from the pain. The pain of a life time of mistakes. Every pound of the blackness finding its way into my body  was the pain of very sin I committed.  Everyone said dying was like sleeping or forgetting. But sleeping is only enjoyable because we wake up the next morning, and when we forget, it's not only bad things that we would forget, but also all the good things. But I knew I was never going to forget this. I got farther down. The scariest thing about this is knowing all my loved ones are right out side me, not knowing what's going. Not knowing they never would get to say good-bye to me… But as soon as I let go, I get to see the loved ones I lost. I slowly started to let the black waters take hold of me and take me away. Take me away from the pain of living. I open my eyes one last time knowing this was it, my time has come. Opened my eyes to see the last part of the world until i reached the other world. As the black waters splashed into my eyes, I saw a small light in the distance. I panicked, and started swimming to it. Swimming was imposable in this water. It was like swimming in the North Pole trying to break throw the ice, thats been there who knows how long. I managed to clawed my way throw thou. As I got closer to the light, I realized  it wasn't a light at all, it was a guy! I clawed faster, faster to live. The guy notice me and swam slowly to me. He swam with such easiness. He swam like the blackness didn't burn his everything. I got closer and closer, it got hard to breath. My throat burned like someone was pouring boiled water down it. I started to give in again. Was he ever going to reach me? If so, was he going to before I gave up my will to live?
'Let it take over, May. You'll feel better once it's done'
I listened to the voice. Let it take me in the darkness. As a kid we were scared of the dark, but when we die we become the dark. All the creepy monster that hide under our beds and in our closets were going to become us only a short time after you live our lives like we have a clue of whats coming. Before I closed my eyes ready this time to move on from this world, I saw the guy in front of me. It cant be… It's not… Not now, now when I'm ready this time.  
"Not Now!" The guy cried with his angelic voice. 
Was he my angel sent to take me out of this hell hole?
He grabbed my unmoving hand and pulled me out before I closed my eyes for the final time. 
"Justin…," I coughed out into the white light. 

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