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She Doesn't Deserve It

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"Shut the f*** up!" Jay screamed as he walked away from Nicole. Her eyes swelled up and tears spilled. All she had asked was if he'd be calling her tonight. Nicole wiped the tears away on her sleeve and watched Jay angrily walk away.

Once Jay was out of sight and her tears were freezing as they fell from her eyes, Nicole took a deep breath and walked to her car. She kept asking herself what she had done to make Jay so mad. All she had asked was if he was going to call her. How did that make him angry?

Jay was so angry lately, moody even. His moods went from happy with her to angry with her within seconds. He rarely opened up to her anymore. With his lack of trust, Nicole found herself isolated from others, attempting to gain trust back that wasn't sure of how she lost. Lately Jay told her everything she did wrong- his homework, his project, her hair, her nails. More tears escaped her eyes as she drove home.

The house was silent, empty when she got home. Her mom was at work and her brother at her father's house. Nicole put her backpack on the kitchen table and again wiped her eyes. She was hungy as she opened the freezer to grab the two men she'll ever need- Ben&Jerry's. Double chocolate mousetracks could heal any wound brought on by anyone.

Nicole sat on the couch after getting her ice cream and putting on her sweat pants. She pulled her blonde hair up then took a big bite of sweet chocolate. Turning on the TV, she found Ellen on as always at four. Ellen made her laugh at her dancing, questions, and games. Nicole's mind wondered back a year ago when she emailed Ellen about her mother who survived breast cancer. At the time, her mother was getting infections every six weeks. She told Ellen about the hardships the cancer brought on her family. Ellen answered inviting them to attend her show free- no plane tickets to pay, no hotel, no show tickets.

While on the show Ellen shared Nicole's mother's story and Nicole and her family weree granted with two million dollars to help with their finicial struggles. A text interupted Nicole's remiencing. You want me to call? Jay asked. She responded with I don't care. The phone rang out and Jay's number appeared on the screen. Nicole answered, reluctant.

"What's your problem?" Jay asked sounding impatient. You Nicole thought.

"What's yours?" Nicole asked instead.

"You're being a b****!" Jay replied.

"You're being an *sshole!"

"You're so freaking stupid, Nicole! I am done with your s***!" Nicole heard a click then the dial tone. Tears spilled from her eye lids while she texted Jay- I'm done with you. I do everything for you. I get you out of everything. Bye.

Nicole laid down on the couch and let her eyes rest. They were sore from the tears. Her phone rang out on the coffee table until she grabbed it frustrated and turned the sound off. Nicole fell asleep to Ellen's voice.

When she woke up, Nicole didn't bother to check her phone. Instead she cooked herself some macoroni and cheese and got comfortable on the couch again. As she fell asleep again, Nicole wondered why she kept letting Jay come back and hurt her.

Nicole was refreshed when she woke up the next morning: an amazing feeling considering she hadn't slept in months. She picked up her phone and saw 24 messages all from Jay. Nicole deleted them all and procceed to block his number and then blocked him on Facebook. She was done now. Nicole had decided she didn't need or deserve to be treated the way Jay treated her. She'd move on and find someone new. She'd have her own happy ending without Jay and wish someone who loves and supports her.





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