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I came, even though I knew it would break my heart. Everything was a blur. I was just walking around in a daze, not truly believing that I was here. Because to acknowledge that would be to accept the fact that there was no hope for me.
Everyone eventually sat down and went silent once the music started. All at once, every head in the congregation turned around to look at the entrance. I followed suit, and my breath caught in my throat. She looked perfect. Nothing could be improved. Her white dress practically glowed in the lights. Nothing could equal the beauty she radiated. I couldn't count how many times I wished that, one day that she would look this way for me.
I tore my eyes away from her, I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together if I didn't. Instead, I looked at the groom. His expression said everything he felt. He loved her, without a doubt. Maybe even as much as I did. I can't describe how much I wanted to switch places with him right then.
I don't know how I held it together as long as I did. I didn't even hear the preacher start. The next thing I heard was the preacher say "Speak now or forever hold your peace."
I realized that this was my chance. There was one small glimmer of hope left. I stood up, shaking with nerves. Once again, every head in the congregation turns, but looking at me instead of her. Each horrified face focused on mine. I tried to say something, but I stopped. I looked at her. Her expression cut me like a knife. Could I really do this to her?
"I. . . I have nothing to say." I said, and walked out. I knew that I wouldn't be able to see the rest of the ceremony.
I was barely out the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Are you all right?"
I turned around, and there she was! She came for me! My heart jumped for joy at her voice. But I knew that no matter how much I loved her, I couldn't bring myself to take away her chance at happiness.
"I'll be fine," I said. "Don't worry about me."
"But you won't be fine, I know you. You'll try to hide your feelings, and continue to suffer on the inside."
Looking at her, I finally let myself realize that she is gone. There was no hope, there was no me and her, there was just me. This realization, combined with everything that I had felt throughout the day, it was too much. My eyes started to water.
"Do you love him?" I asked.
"With all my heart." She answered.
I sighed, and said, "Then don't sacrifice your happiness for mine."
For all of the effort I put into controlling my emotions, one tear slipped through. She reached up and wiped it away.
"You'll always be my best friend" She said.
I took her hand and kissed it. "And I'll always love you."
She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you." She said as she waked off to get married, and I was left alone.