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Legend of Zelda (Not the game)
May and Zelda walked along the hall, May shoving me to the side as they passed.
I could tell they hated me. May and Zelda always have.
Even though every time they passed they shoved me, or called me dumb, or threw something at me, I didn’t say a single rude word to them.
If I was asked the reason, I’d shrug and say, “I don’t know.” But the truth is, that I like Zelda. I’ve in fact liked her for a bit. Yeah a crush.
Why? Why would I fall for a girl that is a total jerk to me?
She’s pretty. Really pretty. Same reason have the guys my age get crushes.
I’ve liked her since I believe sixth grade. Now in eighth, I still do. I’ve been determined to tell her about it for quite a while.
But she’s always with May. May Jordan is one of those girls who always seems to be PMSing.
You know who I’m talking about. Those girls who are just always cranky no matter what the situation is?
Yeah. I’ve never seem Zelda less than five feet away from May. Not once. But that very second I heard from my friend Orson that May was moving to Minnesota, I had a little freak-out moment in my head.
Except not little, and not in my head.
I literally cheered. Started clapping and yelling. A true cheer.
“Whoa man, cool it.” said Orson. “So J-Dizzle, you gonna make your move now?” Orson was funny. He always called me J-Dizzle, like I’m a gangster. My real name Jeremy Dawson, but I’m mostly just called J.D.
“Heck yes!” I said, a little to loud. “How should I do it? Full frontal approach? The old pass a note thing?”
“Yo man, chill out.” he said. “You gotta be smooth about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you gotta just start getting to know her. Talk to her a bit. Then BOOM!!! Flowers on February 14th!”
Orson didn’t really know much about girls, as the only girlfriend he ever had only went out with him through a dare. But I thought this advice was pretty solid. “All right bro. Tomorrow I’ll go talk to her.”
The next day, in homeroom, I sat next to Zelda.
She seemed bored while Mr. Richard bored us by reading to us. He stated he had to, but he was really trying to brainwash us.
I was bored as ever. “Hey.” I hissed. “Zelda.”
Her head turned to me. Her short black hair gently flew past her shoulder; her amazing green eyes facing mine.
I heard from Orson that girls can smell fear. If that was true, I wish I had Axe.
“You bored?” I whispered, trying to cover my sweaty, sweaty, hands.
She nodded. “It sucks. But can I-”
“Zelda!” yelled Mr. Richard. “Quit talking, and listen!”
She rolled her eyes, and secretly wrote on a slice of paper. She tapped my shoulder, and handed it to me.
I looked at it, unsure of what to think.
The paper read ‘My number!’, and seven digits followed. It was surrounded by hearts.
“This for me?” I asked her.
“J.D.! Shut up!” Mr. Richard was such a jerk.
Zelda nodded, and gave me a smile. She mouthed, “Text me after school’, and turned her head.
The rest of the day was a total daydream. what could she want to talk about? Did she try to give me a place to ask her out?
No way man! I’m not doing it! I’m gonna take it slow!
Me and Orson walked home, and I told him what happened in homeroom.
“Haha! Funny bro. Let me guess, totally forged? Stolen from a better guy?”
I punched him in the side as a joke. “No man! It’s legit!”
“Yeah.” Orson laughed. “And I’m going to a party with Superman!”
I punched him again. “Watch. I’ll text her.” I pulled out my phone, and sent the message, ‘Hey it’s JD.’ to Zelda.
Orson let out a long laugh, but stopped when my phone let out a tone. I got a text. From Zelda.
Hey JD. What’s up?
I smiled at Orson, and texted.
Not much. Walking home with Orson.
I sent the message, and waited. Orson was just totally blank. When I got another text, me and Orson parted ways to our separate houses.
Ok. Let me know when you’re in a private place.
Why did she want me alone? What could she want to talk about?
I’m alone now. Probably for another hour or so. My parents don’t get home til 5.
I opened my gate, when I got another text.
Good. So, can I tell you something?
The knob twisted, and I pushed the door open, and walked in.
Sure. What did you want to tell me?
I managed to get a burrito microwaved when I got another text. I sat at the table, and looked at the text.
I didn’t really like May. I hated how she was such a jerk to you. You’re pretty cool.
Who was this? Zelda never was like that. I got another text, and read it.
May was a jerk to everyone i liked. Thank god she’s gone!
All right. I needed to make my move on her. Now was the time. Texting was actually a good place. She can’t see me.
Yeah. That sounds bad. Hey, you wanna go see a movie sometime?
I finished the burrito, and got another text.
Sure thing. How bout Saturday? Just you and me?
Should I double with someone? Orson? Nah. He’ll never get his crush of Selena Gomez.
Sure. Unless you can think of anyone we can double with.
Why did I say that? She’ll find who I hate the most, then ask them to double!!! I knew it would suck when the tone rang.
No. Most of my friends are jerks or single. But it’ll be fun. See ya then!
It was than that I fell over in my chair.
“Wow. You asked her?” said Orson over Skype. “How’s it feel to be rejected?”
“Actually she said yes.” I said.
Orson let out a laugh until I held my phone where he could see. His jaw dropped. “Must be a joke or something.” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s legit. And guess what,” I was going for it. “Five bucks I get a second date!”
“You’re on J-Dizzle.”
Well Saturday came. I walked to Zelda’s house, and knocked on the door.
An older teenage girl opened the door. She looked almost exactly like Zelda. I wondered if I feel asleep for three years and this was Zelda.
The girl smiled at me. “Zelda! Your boyfriend is here!”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” said Zelda from inside. She appeared behind her sister, who moved out of the way. “Hi J.D.!” she squeaked.
“Hi Zelda.” I said. “You ready?”
“Gimme three seconds. Gotta grab my wallet.”
“No need. I’ll pay.” This was advise I got from a website tutorial on how to get a girlfriend.
We walked out, and her sister called, “Don’t get Mono!” I knew what she meant, and my face turned red. Luckily Zelda was busy turning off her phone to see.
We made little conversations about school and other people, until I decided to act her a question.
“So why did you hang out with May in the first place?” Great. Just brought up something personal.
Zelda shrugged. “I don’t know. She seemed kind of cool when I first met her. Like that girl I wanted to be like. Get what I’m saying?”
“Kind of.” I replied. Which was a total lie. I knew exactly what she was talking about. Sometimes I felt that way about Orson. He was still my friend, but he could get pretty annoying.
“Well, I don’t really know how to explain it.”
When we got to the theater, I held the door open for her, and bought her ticket and popcorn.
We went inside, and sat down.
It was relatively empty. We were going to watch a slightly horror slightly romance movie. Perfect for my mission.
She’s get scared, and let me hold her. Then she’d get thinking about kissing and all that, and go for it.
I wouldn’t stop her.
I broke out of my daydream, just as the lights were dimming. Just then, like something out of a nightmare, a body plopped right next to me.
When I saw who it was, I nearly screamed.
Orson Willows. The little idiot decided he would follow me to the theater and see it for himself.
“Hope you don’t mind me sitting here bud!” he said.
“What are you doing?” I hissed at him in anger. “This is supposed to be romantic!”
“Really? The movie reviews say otherwise.” He pulled out his iPod, and started scrolling down on something. “‘Nearly had a heart attack.’ ‘Scared out of my wits.’ ‘Can’t sleep at night anymore.’ Oh yeah. So romantic.”
“At least go somewhere else!”
“Why? You don’t like me? C’mon! We’ve been bros since second grade!”
“Now I got a date! Don’t bug me when I’m on a date!”
Suddenly, the Usher cleared his throat nearby. Orson and I looked. “Could I ask you to leave? You’re causing a scene.”
Orson stood up, and left. Oh thank goodness. “Sir.” said the Usher.
What? I was trying to defend myself! And I get kicked out? With Orson? That’s not even fair!
I stood up, and stomped out, making sure to make as much noise as possible on the way.
“Nice bro.” said Orson. “We got kicked out.” He put his arm on my shoulder, but I pushed it off and walked away. “What’s up man?”
I snapped. “You! You totally ruined it all! I had a shot there! And you messed it up!! Why couldn’t you just talk to me about it later?”
“I’m going out of town tonight! I gotta see it happen! Ol’ J.D. out on a date.”
“So? What makes you think she’ll want another one?” I was yelling now. “Did you just want the five bucks?”
“No man! In fact,” he pulled a five dollar bill out of his pocket, and gave it to me. “You can have it.”
I tossed it aside. “I don’t want it! Why don’t you ever trust me about anything?”
“‘Cause we’re bros! It’s a joke!”
“Well bros ought to know when the joke isn’t funny anymore! It stopped getting funny a long time ago!”
“Cry baby. I’ve been doing things like this forever, and just now you’re flipping out?”
It was true. When I said I got a Wii for Christmas two years ago, he had to break into my house to check. When I said I downloaded the full version of Angry Birds, he had to hack my iPod and play it.
He had been doing this forever. But I was through. “Maybe you have! But I’ve been patient up until now! Stay away from me! Just stay away!”
“Fine jerkbutt.” Replace the ‘er’ with ‘ac’, ‘bu’ with ‘a’, and the t’s with s’ and you’ve got what he really said. “I’m leaving. Guess you don’t want the five bucks. Hope you and your little girlfriend have fun!” Orson stormed out, and I sat down. I still wanted to walk Zelda home.
It wasn’t long after I sat on a bench, that a girl walked out of the movie. It was Zelda.
“Heard you and Orson yelling. Everything okay?” she asked. Great. I didn’t want to lie to her.
So I told her everything. She placed a hand on my shoulder. Not the near one. The far one.
Her other hand gripped my near one. “J.D., it’s okay. Over life you’ll meet people who are just bad friends. Like I did with May. But You gotta get rid of them once you notice. Or else they’ll pull you down to their level.”
I nodded. “I guess so.”
“I personally think it was kind of stupid how he just barged in.” Zelda stood up with me. “And the movie’s lame without you there. Let’s go home.”
While we walked home, I asked her if she wanted to go to McDonald's next week. She said yes, and eventually, we started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. It was nice.
And Orson looks pretty jealous now.