If I Tell You I Love You | Teen Ink

If I Tell You I Love You

December 28, 2011
By DannieM BRONZE, Pendleton, Oregon
DannieM BRONZE, Pendleton, Oregon
2 articles 7 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. –Thomas Jefferson


I thought I had everything including the love of my life. But she took it away in an instant. We were both standing at the altar, same dress, same outfit, same everything. And he chooses her thinking it was me. In that moment I realized, she took my heart right out of my chest. She took it and stomped on it as if it was a bug; tiny, small, and fragile. And now, here I am, heartbroken. I couldn’t help it. The tears came to my face. Donovan was the only one I told who my favorite quote was and through the tears I said, “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?” As the words fell from my lips, I took off. I ran to the only place I could go. Home.

All of this fighting with her started in high school. She was miss prim and proper and I was the country girl. Complete opposites. We had nearly every class together and I have to say she was very, very stupid. I was always the girl stuck in her traps with her comments of, “Who let the pigs in the classroom? Haven’t they ever heard of fashion? Seriously camouflage clothes?” My outfits weren’t that bad. I just had my own sense of style. But one day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned around and slugged her. You could hear down the hall when my fist connected with her face. As she fell to the floor, I turned around to see the principal behind me. “My office. NOW!” And I was walking down the hall. I felt good because all the kids that she made fun of and ruined their lives every day, were clapping and cheering for me. I did what some of them didn’t have the courage to do. I stood up to her. Earning myself a week of detention, I was in the best mood of my life. Till I met Donovan.

He was the guy every girl fell for. With his deep green eyes he walked through the hall and didn’t have a care in the world. The day we met I will never forget. It was junior year for me, senior for him. He was in a hurry to go somewhere when he ran right into me. We both fell. I quickly got up and grabbed all my stuff, or at least I thought. Forgetting my IPod on the ground I went to class. If I would have been seen with him his girlfriend would definitely get me back for what I did to her. He must’ve found my iPod on the floor and picked it up because that night I got a text from it saying, “Hey it’s Donovan. I found your iPod after I accidentally ran into you.” Crap, now I know what I was missing. I replied back, “Shoot I knew I lost something. Is there any way I can get it back tonight?” Ten minutes later I got a reply, “You’re brother is Blake May, right?” “Umm yes, how’d ya know?” “Lucky guess. If you want I can stop by your house and drop it off on my way to work. I know where your brother lives so I know where you live.” “Stalker. Ha-ha just kidding. Any ways that sounds good. I’ll be waiting on the front porch.”

Ten minutes after receiving a text that said, “K”, I saw a dodge truck come up the driveway. As he pulled to a stop, I decided I’d meet him half way. “Thanks for keeping it safe,” I said to him. “No problem.” Then it got awkward. Till his phone rang. It was her. He calmly answered it saying, “Miranda, I can’t talk right now. I’m with my friend.” You could just hear her yelling on the other end of the phone. He shut the phone and asked, “Can I ask you about something?” Yes slipped of my lips like melted butter sliding of a plate.

We were sitting on his tailgate, looking up at the stars, and talking about people in our life. He finally asked me what he had meant to ask me earlier which was, “What do I do when I love one girl but I can’t break up with my ex because she’ll ruin my life?” I didn’t know what to tell him. We sort of sat there in silence till I came up with an idea. “What if you told your girlfriend that you think you guys should see other people? You always see that work in the movies.” He chuckled and pulled me closer. It was sort of strange but I didn’t want to stop him. In the distance you could hear the crunch of tires on rocks and a nice, shiny convertible pulling up the drive.

She got out of her car and you could tell she was pissed. Turns out Donovan never ended the call and she heard everything. We were screwed. Quickly he said, “Get in the passenger seat. We’re going to get out of here; fast.” Next thing I knew we were flying down the driveway and she got a face full of dust. He drove out to where she couldn’t find us and we parked there for an hour and talked about our lives.

The following Monday when I got up to get ready for school I heard more than one voice down stairs. Still in my pajamas, I went downstairs to get some breakfast. Filling my bowl full of Captain Crunch I heard the voice again. Only this time I knew who it was; Donovan. Trying to act calm, I took my cereal and sat at the table, only a distance away from him. I ate as quickly as I could without looking like a pig and went back up stairs. After shutting the door behind me, I started to freak out. “What the heck is he doing here?” I said hoping he didn’t hear me. After a few moments of recollecting myself and calming down I got ready for school and went downstairs, again. He was still there only this time he had my bag and books in his hands. “Ready to go?” He asked. I was puzzled. What was his girlfriend going to think of this? “Umm is it going to be okay with it?” “It, ha-ha, won’t be a bother anymore. Turns out she broke up with me and I’m as free as a bird. Ready?” “Sure,” I replied and we were out the door ready for school.

Over the next year we hung out and did all sorts of stuff together. Till he had to go to college. I was heartbroken at the fact he was leaving. He was going into the military and going to the college they had. The day he left I went to say good-bye. I couldn’t help myself. The tears came to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. “Don’t cry girly. Be strong. Just like the day you hit Miranda. Be the tough I girl I know you are.” And he kissed me. More tears came. I was losing him forever. Through the tears I told him, “You know, I never did tell you my favorite quote. If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever? Can I keep you forever?” He responded with yes and gave me one final hug before going and telling his parents good-bye. I knew it had to be harder for them than it was for me because he really was theirs’. Forever and Always.

Senior year seemed to drag on forever without him. He sent letters when he could. They were so sweet and he always ended with ‘if I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?’ When no letters came, I became worried. He sent one every week, but for the past two months none came. I sent him an invitation to my graduation thinking I would get a letter back but none came. Graduation came and all I could hope for was him there. I put on that cap and gown and went.

At the party my parents through for me, I received a big present. This wasn’t a car, it was a giant box. It was bigger than me. I opened it to find a letter in it. The letter read, “Turn around.” Unconsciously, I turned around and there he was. My Donovan. Beginning to cry I ran into his arms. He was home, safe.

Days went by which turned in to months, years. It had been three years since we first met. I can’t explain it good but it’s as if it was love at first sight. We had bought a home together and we were spending our first Christmas there. It was on that one night that he got down on one knee and asked me those four words: Will you marry me? I was so happy I began to tear up. I said, “I do” and the rest was history. We planned the wedding for the 4th of July. He let me pick the theme which was camouflage. My dress was camouflage and so was his tie. What I didn’t know is that Miranda bought the same dress.

The wedding came up so fast I didn’t even notice time fly by. I was back in my room putting the finishing touches on my dress when everyone left to go get seated. The door creaked open and there she was. In the same dress. The last thing I remember her saying was, “You’ll regret taking my Donovan away.” And everything went black.

I woke up and realized my dress was partially torn. My head throbbed a little. “She must have hit me,” I thought. I stood up and walked over to the door. The music had stopped and you could hear the preacher speak. I opened the door and walked out. Still weary from being hit, I stumbled a little walking. I made it to the aisle in on piece. And there she was. With my fiancé at the end of the aisle. I waited for the right time to say anything. The preacher asked to the crowd, “Is there anyone who objects to this marriage?” And I said, “I do.”

“Donovan If you can’t realize that’s not your real fiancé, then you are obviously not the man I fell in love with.” He stood there dazed. Here there were two girls both in identical outfits, only mine was torn. He said, “Which one of you is my fiancé then? Ah-ha I got it! I remember her voice so clearly. It’s like a thousand angels.” He picked her.

I thought I had everything including the love of my life. But she took it away in an instant. We were both standing at the altar, same dress, same outfit, same everything. And he chooses her thinking it was me. In that moment I realized, she took my heart right out of my chest. She took it and stomped on it as if it was a bug; tiny, small, and fragile. And now, here I am, heartbroken. I couldn’t help it. The tears came to my face. Donovan was the only one I told who my favorite quote was and through the tears I said, “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?” As the words fell from my lips, I took off. I ran to the only place I could go. Home.



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