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Sometimes you forget
Sometimes you forget what you never thought you could. I am not talking about age, not even an illness... just being human and forgetting what shouldn't be taken for granted.
I heard a story once, not long ago about a woman. She was thirty years old. The woman had no children, though she had married young.
Sarah Hoppen married Mark Canton a week after she turned eighteen. They had been together for two years and despite her fathers disapproval and everyone Else's she had married Mark and moved away with him.
They had lived in a one bedroom run down apartment for two years until Sarah had finally landed a job at the Boston herald. She was working part time as the papers assistant editor. She was also attending college aspiring one day to be lead editor at the Boston Herald.
Mark was working for a large law firm in Boston. He had graduated from Stanford University the same year Sarah had graduated from high school.
They had met when Sarah was just sixteen. Sarah had moved to Palo Alto California when she was fourteen. She quickly became best friends with Sam Canton. On the night of Sarah's sixteenth birthday Sam invited her to a sleepover where she met Mark, Sam's big brother. She fell for his big blue eyes and dark hair. Although Sam knew nothing of Mark and Sarah's affections toward each other, a month before Sarah turned eighteen she told Sam she would be leaving. Then told her Mark had proposed to her and as soon as she graduated they were moving to Boston. Sam was completely against it. She hated Sarah, but Sarah went anyway.
When Sarah began working for the Boston Herald her and Mark bought their first home.
It was a two bedroom home in a secluded area of a neighborhood, just perfect for the two of them. Neither one of them wanted children until they were much older.
When Sarah graduated college they offered her the editors position at the Boston Herald and she took the position. Sarah worked a full forty hour week and most of the time she stayed late to make sure work was finished. Mark worked even more. They saw each other as they climbed into bed each night, but not much other than that.
Weeks turn into months and months turn into years, and before she knew it Sarah was thirty.
Sarah was working overtime on her and Mark's twelve year anniversary. She had forgotten all about the anniversary, Mark had too until the night before and had planned to surprise her at work. Sarah left work late and returned home to find Mark's car wasn't in the garage. She was not worried, because he would spend many nights working late. As she was climbing into bed she received a phone call.
She spoke with an officer who had informed her that Mark was in an accident. He was killed. Sarah's world came crashing down.
When Sarah lay in bed the night after Mark's funeral she tried remembering when they had last spent time together. They would have one day a week off together, but that day was mostly spent finishing up work projects. She cried until she fell asleep that night knowing nothing would ever be the same.
The next year Sarah missed every day of work. She couldn't function. Mark was all that she had. So long ago she had abandoned everything and everyone she had ever loved for him and now that he was gone she was too.
She pleaded with god to bring him back. She promised she wouldn't take him for granted. She would quit her job and spend every second with him. She would have his children. She would be a stay at home mom and wait for him to return home every night and greet him with a kiss every morning he left. She couldn't forgive herself.
One morning Sarah found herself looking into her mirror. She looked upon a face she no longer recognized. She could no longer see the scared eighteen year old girl running away with a boy she was so in love with she would do anything for. All she could see was some women's face who desperately needed to brush her hair.
She climbed into bed praying that for once she could fall asleep and not wake up. As Sarah closed her eyes she felt it. A cool hand touched her cheek. She rose out of bed quickly. Then she saw him. It was Mark, he was laying in bed, looking like he always had. No shirt and blue boxers was all he wore. Sarah began to cry. She fell to the bed. Mark's arms closed around her and pulled her close. He spoke so soft she could barely hear him. "Why have you given up. You are stronger than this. I know you Sarah. You are beautiful and strong and you don't need me. You never needed me it was I that needed you. You held me together." Sarah looked at Mark and spoke... but Mark I can't I am not strong, I gave up our love. I forgot you...I didn't give my husband a chance to love me. I was so busy I didn't care... Mark I forgot how could... How could I. Sarah's tears flooded onto Mark's chest. Mark hugged her tight and said "Sometimes you forget.. You are human, it's not hard to do. You think you have all the time in the world, but that's how it's supposed to be Sarah. You gave me the chance to love you and you gave me your life by giving up everything for me and I can't tell you how perfect our love is. I still love you with everything that holds me together. I may not be here with you everyday in human form, but in your heart is where you have to let me stay. I love you Sarah and I know you can live without me here. You are far stronger than I am. And Yes you can forgive yourself, sometimes you forget and that's okay, because you are human. "
Sarah's arms fell flat. She opened her eyes and Mark was gone. She looked around her room and knew he wouldn't be returning, but she would do as Mark asked and forgive herself. She would hold Mark in her heart as long as she lived until the day came when they would meet again.
Sarah fell asleep that night smiling for the first time in a year.