The Tortoise and the Hare

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Hares and tortoises have been sworn enemies ever since a tortoise won a race against a hare with severe ADHD. They knew that, yet there they were, walking side by side gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes like they had been doing every night since they fell deeply in love a week ago. Neither the tortoise nor the hare had told anyone about their togetherness, but they liked it that way; as the hare said, “It kept things real.” Only the hare could make something that seemed so vague feel so deep and meaningful.

Two weeks into keeping it real, the tortoise felt a longing for something more than just taking walks and gazing into each other’s eyes. The tortoise wanted a date; a real date, not some clandestine rendezvous in the middle of the night. So when they met for their nightly walk, there was a tense feeling; there was no gazing and no talking. The tortoise was thinking about how to word how she was feeling but instead she blurted out, “I just really want to see the new Twilight movie!” she sounded more demanding and angry than intended and quickly regretted opening her mouth.

“Really? I never cared for them. The acting was terrible and the special effects were lame.” the hare said looking strangely at the tortoise.

“Me neither,” she lied, “I was just joking. We should go see it together on opening night and throw popcorn at the screen and laugh at all the nerds standing in line for hours.”

“Wouldn’t we be counted among the nerds standing in line for hours if we did that though?” he said, “And plus if someone saw us together we would never hear the end of it.”

The tortoise sighed. She thought she knew better than to fall for someone so out of her species. Her brain knew that their relationship would never work but her heart overruled. The walk continued in silence until they got to the end of the path. “Same time, same place tomorrow?” the tortoise asked, trying in vain to salvage whatever was left of their relationship.

“I don’t think I can make it tomorrow,” the hare said, already bounding back home.

“That’s it,” She thought to herself, “The tortoise and the hare are over.” She sulked slowly home, like tortoises do best, and she softly cried herself to sleep.

A few weeks later the tortoise and her friends were standing in the front of the line for the new Twilight movie, when out of the corner of her eye she saw the hare standing near the back of the line by himself in a team Jacob shirt.





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