Bella's First Love Chapter One

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Some people think I’m crazy. Some people think I’m a liar. All I can say is if you don’t believe me, then just think of this as a story. My name is Bella Monroe and I am a psychic. That isn’t even the weirdest part of the whole story. My whole life feels like it was formed by a fairytale; but I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.
At my school, there is this test you have to take in order to get in. If you get in, then you are suppose to be excited. If you don’t get in, then you are killed in order to keep the school a secret. Wonderful school right?

My parents have both gone to that school and they were waiting until I was old enough to apply. They were ecstatic when they found out I had gotten in and bought my stuff almost immediately. Our family all shared the same ability and they wanted me to marry someone with psychic powers too. But when I first stepped feet on the campus, I knew that was most likely not going to happen.

I was standing next to all the newcomers waiting for my schedule and room key when I saw a guy just two people in front of me talking to his friends. He had bleach blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and the most pale skin I had ever seen. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I was attracted to him and his very angelic glow.

He left a few minutes later and went to go talk to a group with almost the same appearance as him. Hopefully, I would be lucky to have at least one class with him so I would be able to see him for a small part of the day.

After I got my room key and my class schedule, I headed to my room to meet my roommate. When I unlocked the door, I saw him standing over a bed with stuff already sprawled across it. The main desk person said some people would have to share a room with a person of the opposite sex but I didn’t expect it to be me-or him.

“Hey,” he said and stopped what he was doing to look my direction. “I’m Drake. Apparently, you are my new roommate.” He smiled one last time and then looked down at his stuff. “How did you get in?”

“I’m a psychic second generation.” I was mesmerized by his pale skin that apparently seemed to glow whenever a beam of bright sunlight engulfed to room. I almost tripped over the recycle bin when I saw the beautiful glow on his skin that looked like tiny little diamonds shining against his skin. “I am guessing you are a vampire?”

“Half,” he corrected me. “My mom was from a line of royal vampires and she met my dad and, well, you know how that goes.” He smiled at his little joke to reveal his perfectly white teeth. When I looked closer, I saw the slightest bit of brown around the rim on his left eye. Vampires have all blue eyes so I knew he was telling the truth.

I took my blanket and pillow out of my bag and threw them across my bed. He came over and helped me straighten out my bed. After that, we went over our schedules to discover we had history and gym together. I knew right then that I was going to like this year.





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CarrieAnn13 said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I have a bit of criticism.

1.  A little more description of your world would be nice.  Like more description about the school, the character's parents, Drake, etc.

2.  Your pacing is kind of fast.  She's accepted into school, then BAM! she meets Drake. Why don't you slow it down a bit?

3.  Was this inspired by Twilight?  I've only ever seen sparkling vampires there.  If so, your protagonist should have a different name than Bella, the ma... (more »)

 
ForeverMyImmortality replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Actually, I hate twilight.  Bella is the name of one of my friends who came up with the idea.  She put in the description of Drake and the school and I just wrote the story.  So I gave her credit.
 
CarrieAnn13 replied...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Oh, okay!  It's just the sparkling vampire that threw me off.
 
Brittbyheart said...
Nov. 24, 2011 at 12:39 am
As you know, I am loving this already. But, what I tought was to much, well I wouldnt say to much, anyways, was the glowing skin. Thats taking someone elses idea and making it your own. But besides that I totally love it! Keep writing. 
 
. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Love it!! Please write another chapter!!!

This story is really good so far and has a buch of potential as a book or novella.

 
. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Love it!! Please write another chapter!!! This story is really good so far and has a buch of potential as a book or novella.
 
. said...
Nov. 19, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Love it!! Please write another chapter!!!
 
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