I sit on this park bench. I know every crack like I know the elements of fiction. I spend my days on this bench. I long for something covered by a haze just out of reach. What I want is a complicated equation even I can not configure. I sit on this worn bench yearn for the missing. I sit and ponder my situation when I hear giggling. I look up and at first see a young girl and her father as he holds her as she crosses the monkey bars. I see a girl my age basking in the embrace of a boy. Her boy. I see a little boy offering his hand to a young girl that fell of the slide. At this moment I realize what I have been craving for. Love. I crave the feeling of someone watching out for me. I desire the sensation of a warm embrace. I yearn for someone to give me support. I need someone. All of these images click together like I just found he last puzzle piece that was seeking shelter under the couch with the dust bunnies. Is this what I really need? I think so. Although I tend to over analyze things, wait too long to speak my thoughts, and think things through too much. From now on I will stop analyzing, forget anything other than the most basic reason and sincere thoughts. I will. I am sure I will. As I'm thinking through this new pact I hear a creak and a new weight is added not only to my bench but my thoughts. I see an unrecognizable boy. His cropped brownish tinted blond hair blown by the wind delicately fakes his face. He looks at me and smiles. I have an internal debate over keeping the pact or not. I go with my extinct and say "hello I'm Maggie." another smile creeps upon his perfect face and asks, "It's too cold out for a beautiful girl like you, would you like to go get a coffee with me?" I smile and slowly nod as my bangs fall in my face. He reaches over and carefully tucks them behind my ear as he says, "I was hoping you would talk too me. I was too nervous although I promised I would try." A new confidence came over me and I grabbed his hand while pulling him up and we walked together through the park. The leaves slowly fell on in my hair and crowned my victorious. There are things in life that should not be analyzed.
A New Fall Season, A New Me
November 3, 2011