Because Of You, I Am Strong

It was summertime. The sun was baking and the skies were always blue. We were free. Free to do anything we wanted. Summer is what kids look forward to. Summer is the most exciting time of kids’ lives. It’s what most people live for. But not me. No, not me. Summer is the time is hate most. I hate it like kids hate vegetables. Summertime is the time I fell in love with you.

I remember when you messaged me on Facebook. You always were such a charmer. You got me hooked into conversation, asking for my number and telling me how you thought I was cute. You dangled compliments like bait. And I was the poor, gullible fish that was stupid enough to bite.

You texted me everyday from that moment on. You flattered me with sweet little nothings and made me feel special. I was smitten by your charming face and the way you seemed to really care about me. I tried to play the part of “hard to get”. I responded to your compliments with a simple “thank you” or “stop it!”.

But you were persistent. Our conversations slowly turned more intimate and meaningful. I grew to love the way you made me feel.

Then school started. I’ll never forget the first time I saw you in person. You were in a bright orange shirt and faded jeans. I saw you from across the hall. But you didn’t see me. I felt my face go red and I hid behind my dark hair.

Our texting continued...Until that fateful day. The day you hugged me for the first time. You were in a yellow shirt. I loved the way you smiled at me before pulling me into strong arms. As I walked away, I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter with excitement. They seemed to be screaming “He likes me! He really likes me!”

It was late September when you called me one night. You invited me somewhere with your friends. I came. You were in a gray shirt and these really ugly brown pants. You never had the best style. You hugged me in front of all your friends and I thought, “Wow. He’s a keeper.” We were in a cornmaze that night and it was cold. You kept your arm around me the whole time, making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. When I was leaving, you kissed my forehead.

One day at school in October, you pulled me away from my friends and backed me against a locker. You told me you loved me and you had never felt this way about anyone. I couldn’t say anything. All I could do was kiss you back when your lips finally met mine. My friends giggled and yours whistled. We didn’t stop.

We spent almost every minute together after that. Somehow you found me after every class. You would kiss me for as long as you could no matter where we were. I was totally and completely under your spell. I would have done ANYTHING for you. And unfortunately, I gave you the one gift of mine that I can never get back.

That night is the most vivid night in my memory. We were at your house with a few of your friends, all of us sitting in the hot tub. I remember the feeling of your hand running up and down my leg, giving me goosebumps in the warm water. One by one, your friends started to leave, eventually leaving us all alone. That’s when you kissed me like you’d never kissed me before, leaving me breathless and light headed. And slowly, you took my hand and pulled me out of the hot tub, up to your room. I didn’t even realize what was happening until it was over… Until we were laying on your bed, holding each other tightly.

That’s when you began to pull away. You gradually started kissing me less and less. You didn’t find me after every class anymore, only after school. You didn’t invite me over or offer to take me to lunch. You didn’t even hold my hand anymore.

I felt empty, deserted, and scared. I was afraid that you had lost interest in me. I asked you one day, “What’s going on with you?” You sort of rolled your eyes and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I grabbed your hand and asked pointedly, “Are you not interested anymore?” Your next words hit me like a thousand knives, causing me the most pain I’ve ever felt.

“I guess not. I got what I wanted. Now I’d say we’re pretty much over.”

I was your play toy. You never cared about me. All you wanted was to get in bed with me. And you did. You’re a master at disguise, a true genius when it comes to breaking someone’s heart.

So congratulations. You ruined me. You stole my heart and ran away with it, leaving me behind.


But you’ve also made me strong. You’ve made me realize that true love is a myth. You showed me that no one is really who they say they are and that life is a lot bigger than the drama that happens in high school. You proved that I’m strong enough to move on, to get past the heartbreak and hatred in my life that tries to hold me back.

I am brave. I am strong. I am whole. And I am better. All because of you, the boy I fell for in the summertime…





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