People will fill your mind with s***, and you can’t just flush the toilet. You think about it so much it consumes you. That’s when you really can’t move around without wondering if the s*** they said is true. Rumors are how it all makes since. In your own thoughts you wouldn’t jump to conclusions if the rumors weren’t there. This is just how it went down when I lost my head. I pushed away a guy who loved me because I didn’t think I was good enough and everyone told me he wasn’t worth it. He was worth it, I’ll never forget our love. Most of all I wouldn’t forget how it all ended. Standing beside the lockers that have seen so much, he looked at me with what seemed to be love. I looked at him confused. Why would he have a reason to care? Why couldn’t I accept it…I accept it now, I accepted it too late. Anyway he kept looking at me with love and I just snapped “you’re stupid to be with me.” His eyes cringed and his mouth tightened as I went on “there are so many other girls who you could be with, that are so much better than me…why don’t you don’t go out with them?” He looked torn, I swallowed back a cough. His voice spoke clearly with an ache “because I loved you.” I hung on his next words “I really did and still do.” I spoke rushed “I love you to.” He shook his head “no, if you love someone you know they love you back, I’m done trying to convince you.” As he turned to leave I called to him “I’m sorry, I just get insecure…” he Responded “no, not insecure, you’re just a monster.” As he left me standing there was only one thing I could think about, that I should never should have listened to what anyone else said, he loved me and I let him, no made him go. I never should have doubted him. When someone says they love you and you doubt it make sure you have a good reason and it’s not because “he said she said”, make sure they don’t love you before you ruin something so wonderful. It’ll make you a bitter person. I still remain alone because I know that the only one I want back will never love me again because I was so cruel that one time so long ago in the hallway at school.
October 28, 2011