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Not much but enough

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I was about to leave when you came into the room. I didn't look up when the door opened thinking that it would be another person. Another kid, anybody but you. My heart skipped when you came in said hello to me. To me. You probably didn't think anything of it. Because you didn't know I was planning to to leave until your words pinned me to my seat like a magnet.
You're ignoring me now typing on a computer two seats away. You probably can't feel the energy that I do. It pulses between us like a heart beat. It hurts because I know you can't. Know that you don't feel the same way.
I'm sitting at my computer with my hands hovering above the keyboard because the thrum of the energy has wiped my mind clean and I can't think. It takes a while for my brain to restart. I hope you don't notice it because now you probably know that I have no reason to be here and if you noticed that you've probably noticed the glances I've been shooting at you while pretending to read something interesting on the computer.
I type something on the keyboard, anything. Watch as google tries to find search results for whatever it is that I've typed in. Trying not to look at you in a super obvious way that will surely make you uncomfortable. I look at the computer "I love you" is written in bold under the google logo. I gasp, of course, that's not stalker like at all. You look at me ask me what's wrong. I hope you don't notice that I'm having a hard time keeping a blush from reaching my cheeks, say I'm fine which is a lie because my heart is thumping like mad in my chest and I'm worried that it might stop altogether.
I type something else in the google toolbar paying attention this time make myself type atoms, which is what we're going over in chemistry. I feign interest in the discovery protons and neutrons while pretending that I am not suddenly aware that we are alone in the room together.
I don't know what you're reading but you have that look on your face that means your bored. You know the one where your eyebrows knit together and you chew your bottom lip. Oh God, I'm staring. I look back at my computer. Protons neutrons oh wait its protons and electrons, neutrons weren't found until later. I'm bidding my time. I know my mom will be calling me soon and I'll have to leave you alone with your computers and whatever it is you're reading.




I stay anyway until my mom calls and I leave stealing one last glance at you alone at your computers with that look still plastered on your face. The feelings I have for you I know deep down inside will come to nothing. But if I can sit next to you two computers away every once in a while feeling the energy thrumming between us telling you one or two semi-coherent sentences. I'll be happy because even though it's not much it's enough.



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