Teenage Love

September 14, 2011
By maddii_luvss GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
maddii_luvss GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
18 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we were all born to die, and we all die to live; then what's the point of living life if it just contradicts?" ~ Ronnie Radke


The dark curls encircling his face matched the dark curl of his lips. His face, under the moonlight, looked chiseled to perfection. I wanted, so desperately, to reach out and trace the deep shadows left by the moon like foot prints, but something halted me. Tracing his eyes I realized the beautiful shade of the richest chocolate they held. At first glance, he would seem just another person; another fish to an endless ocean, but I look beyond that of which most people see. Passion is brought to life in his eyes. His lips, still in the devious smile, taunted me. One kiss. One touch, One love. I reach forward without hesitation and place my hand on his face. Closing his eyes he leans into my hand. His love for life shines through , and I want to tell him. Tell him that I love him, but I choke. I choke on the words before they can even be read on my lips.


The author's comments:
This is about a special someone :)

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This article has 8 comments.


on Oct. 24 2011 at 1:27 pm
maddii_luvss GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
18 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we were all born to die, and we all die to live; then what's the point of living life if it just contradicts?" ~ Ronnie Radke

Thank you guys so much for commenting and supporting me! :D I didn't even think that this piece would get any views at all, but I am glad that people are actually reading my stuff!

on Sep. 24 2011 at 2:31 pm
Savannalore SILVER, North Branch, South Dakota
9 articles 17 photos 121 comments

Favorite Quote:
Art is all about mistakes and knowing which ones to keep.

No, I like "halted" where it is. "Something stopped me" would sound much more amatuer. You did a good job, don't change anything.

on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:58 am
samwich7 SILVER, Aquebogue, New York
6 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
So when he asks, "You love me. Real or not real?" I say, "Real."
-MOCKINGJAY

I agree! 

on Sep. 23 2011 at 10:57 am
samwich7 SILVER, Aquebogue, New York
6 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
So when he asks, "You love me. Real or not real?" I say, "Real."
-MOCKINGJAY

I agree that you should say 'stopped' rather than 'halted'. But it's an excellent story that kept me locked in it's embrace until the end. You should add to it.

muffin said...
on Sep. 16 2011 at 10:52 pm
who is it about care to tell...

on Sep. 16 2011 at 10:12 pm
caleb.arledge BRONZE, Camden, South Carolina
2 articles 1 photo 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
To risk is to live.

really good! but this seems more like a poem to me...

on Sep. 16 2011 at 7:00 pm
BarefootInTheWoods SILVER, New Salisbury, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Demon Pox!" ~Will Herondale

Dang brown eyed boys! They get you everytime, don't they? It's amazing, and I swear, it's like you yanked one of my memories out of my head!

on Sep. 16 2011 at 6:04 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Love it!  The metaphors and similies you use are perfect.  Honestly, I was so immersed into it that I didn't hear anything else going on around me.  =+)  The only advice I would give is to not use the word "halted" where you did.  Halted is more of the speaker's choice, not really the "something" you speak of.  Also I don't think you meant to put a comma after one touch.  Other than that, keep writing!  Could you check out my romance article as well?  Thanks!  <><


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