My Candle Heart | Teen Ink

My Candle Heart

September 1, 2011
By mathis BRONZE, Fresno, California
mathis BRONZE, Fresno, California
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.''

I look at you, and every worry I once had seems to slowly dissolve into nothing. I look at you, and I feel for once in my life that someone has finally chosen to stay. Someone has finally loved me enough to commit to keeping me around. They haven't forgotten me or abandoned me. I'm finally someones top priority.
I looked at you, on that February day, and you looked right back at me. I captured a mental picture of the way your long eyelashes delicately hid your intriguing eyes as you stared at the floor under us. I wanted to reach out and trace the shape of your lips with the tips of my fingers, but I pushed the thought away, for I was afraid you'd laugh at me. My eyes could not avert away from this lovely sight, a sight I was taking advantage of, because it didn't come very often . I wanted to freeze this exact moment, keep it tucked in my pocket, and retrieve it whenever I felt it should be relived.
I realize we've been sitting in silence for quite a while, but I did not mind. We could have sat there in silence for three hours and I would have been perfectly content just staring at you. You finally notice I've been staring at you and smile. My heart seemed to have melted, right then and there. You smiled at me and it felt unreal. I've had many people smile at me. My family, my friends, and even dozens of crushes. But this didn't feel like that. None of those smiles had the ability to make my heart feel like a burning candle. I could practically feel the wax of my candle heart dripping down the edges.
"What?" You chuckle, shyly looking down at the floor again.
I've made you feel shy. Oh, the joy that had overwhelmed my candle heart. I wanted to tell you just what I have been staring at. I wanted to tell you how beautiful your eyelashes were, how the shape of your lips almost seemed to perfect to be real, and how you made my candle heart melt. But my mouth stayed shut, in a tight smile.
"Nothing," I simply reply.
Nothing was far from. Nothing, I had said. Nothing. There was most certainly something. If only I had the courage to tell you, on the February day, just what you had done.
You turn towards me, a playfully smile hanging off those perfect lips that I ached to kiss, but was too afraid. Your eyes scan me, as if taking in the moment as I was doing before. Your hands take mine, both of them, and your fingers fill in the spaces between them. An instant shudder down my spine occurred. Another perfect moment that I wished to keep. I held on to both of your hands, so tight, afraid that you would let go. But you didn't, you squeezed tighter as well, rubbing your thumb against mine. How I wanted to kiss those fingers, those lips, those cheeks, those everything. It was took so much effect not to. You're staring at me, I'm staring at you, and the silence seems so blissful, even if it is only silence. It seems as if a thousand words are hanging in the air, but left unsaid.
You take the huge sharpie beside me and uncap it. You laugh a little and release your hand from mine, only to hold my other. You quickly scribble your name onto the top of my hand in fat, bold ink.
"There," You smile at me, "To let everyone know you're mine."
I giggle like a little school girl who has just spoken to her long time crush. It felt that way, indeed. I was tempted to write my name on your hand as well, but I lacked a ton of courage that day. The blissful silence returned and you held both of my hands once more. I took in the moment one last time, because not all wishes come true, and my wish of keeping this moment forever was sadly one of them. I wanted our moments to be likes one, for as long as our moments occurred. I liked to believe you'd always want to share moments like these with me forever, but what I believed was never always reality.
I never told you what you did to me that day. You did something that no one has ever attempted, or done before. You stole my candle heart from right under my nose. My candle heart is still firmly placed in your pocket. It shall never stop glowing that loving glow, for as long as I live. Because even when we're old and married to someone new, I'll always remember your mysterious eyes and tender lips. I'll always remember how you made me feel that February day. I'll always remember the tale of the candle heart, for it shall never burn, just as the wick on my everlasting candle heart that still glows deep within your pocket.

The author's comments:
I wrote this piece based on an actual experience. This piece is about an event my first love and I had in the month of feburary. It expresses my heart break, the moment I fell in love with him, and how that love will never cease.

I hope reader's who have also experienced heart break and that feeling of always loving somebody will be able to relate.

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