Snowy Bliss

August 24, 2011
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Running through the woods, I laugh as I stumble over rocks, trip over fallen branches, and slip on unseen ice. Finally I find the clearing, the place we always go to. Gasping for breath, I stumble to the middle of the clearing and use my gloved hand to brush off the powdery snow on a large rock and seat myself at its peak.
“Where are you?” I hear him call from somewhere to my left.
“Here!” I answerr, still giggling and trying to catch my breath.
Soon he appears out of the dense foliage. Twigs entangled in his hair and an amused smile playing about his lips. Silently he strides over and sits down next to me. Almost instantly, a shiver passes down my spine. I know it isn’t from the cold, so I hastily disguise it by rubbing my hands furiously up and down my arms. Without a word, he takes off his own woolen coat and drapes it around my shoulders. I smile at him gratefully, though the extra layer does nothing to calm my nerves.
Anxious to draw attention away from myself, I begin pointing out various things. Doesn’t that mound of snow look exactly like a sleeping dog? How perfect is the light shining through those icicles?
“Look!” I whisper in amazement, for a bright red cardinal had just perched itself atop a branch directly in front of us. “Isn’t he beautiful? I wonder what he’s doing here, though, in the dead of winter.” I turn to him for an answer and see that he hasn’t so much as glanced at the mysterious bird, but is looking straight at me. I look away and draw his coat tighter around me. Quietly he stands up, not wishing to disturb the moment, and bows.
“May I have this dance?” His voice is barely audible.
I blush furiously, thankful for the frigid temperatures that have already turned my nose into a ripe cherry, and my cheeks into two rosy apples.
“Why of course you may,” I say with mock etiquette and gracefully reach for his outstretched arm.
Immediately he sweeps me into a slow waltz. As my head comes to rest on his shoulder and his arms grasp about my waist, I close my eyes, feeling only his tender touch and hearing nothing but the soft crunch of our feet in the snow and an occasional bird’s song. We stand there, leisurely turning in the white arena when suddenly I feel an icy sensation on the nape of my neck. I gasp and break the seemingly impenetrable spell surrounding us.
“What is it?” he asks pulling out of our embrace.
I look up and snowflakes begin to pile up on my eyelashes and adorn my hair like little jewels from heaven.
“It’s snowing,” I say as I think of how absolutely flawless this moment is. I look back at him. His eyes are twinkling. Hands still around my waist, he gently twirls us both around and brings me closer to him. Forehead resting on top of mine and one hand entangled in my hair, he asks, “May I have this kiss?”
I smile and look into his deep, dark eyes. Eyes so deep you feel if you look into them for too long, you might lose yourself and never come back out again. With my heart pounding and spirits soaring, shakily I breathe, “Of course you may.”

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This article has 29 comments. Post your own now!

PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 8:44 am
Great imagery! 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 2:32 am
This was so, so, so amazing. I absolutely love it. So romantic and so well written. The descriptions led to the story's mood and to the scene at the same time (if you know what I mean).. It was all so perfect. Not a word was wasted. I love it:)
youngpilot said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 8:21 pm
That was amazing. I loved how you played the details into the story and how they never overwhelmed it. Short and sweet, but definitely the BEST romance story I have read. The lines were honest, and realistic, and it was exceptionally well written and easy to envision what is going on. Not to mention I LOVE your style as a first person present writer as well. Not many people are and it's exciting to find someone who is. I have been told that it is more challenging to write in such a way, b... (more »)
ChocoMint replied...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Thank you so much for commenting. You all were very uplifting and encouraging! I am so glad you liked it. =+)
youngpilot replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm
No problem.
billgamesh11 said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm
OMG!!!!!!! This was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!! I love the whole "May I have this dance" and then the "May I have this kiss"!!! That was probably one of the best lines of a story I have ever read! Great Job! Your story was short and sweet, a perfect romance article!!! Keep writing!!!:):):);)
CarrieAnn13 said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Wow, this is truly amazing!  Here's my critique:

Plot: Excellent!  It's kinda cliche, but all romances are.

Characters: Definitely relatable as well as very believable.

Style: Again, excellent.  Your voice is perfect for a romance.

Grammar/Spelling: I only spotted one typo in the sentence "I answerr..."

All in all: 5/5 stars.  Excellent work!

photolover26 replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 10:18 am
I loved it! It was so detailed and it really made you feel as if you were there. It's so magical and just... ahh I liked it so much :) 
Emiri replied...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm
This is so cute! You just know what's going on, but you can't help but keep reading. Now i feel cold.... heh heh.
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